Whalers Fight Over Who Gets to Play with Paulinski

It’s all the kids fighting for the new gift under the Christmas Tree, as newly minted Whaler Chad ‘The Polasian Sensation’ Paulinski came out swinging after being traded from the North Stars late last week.  The second year forward adorned the number 92, usually worn by Whalers veteran Paul Wolfe.  Wolfe decided to opt for the McDavid #97 because our jerseys “run a little small”.

Paulinski ended up with 2 goals and 2 PIMs, adding a blemish to the perfect Whalers permanent record.  The Whalers seemed really happy with their trade when Whalers GM Brian Walters exclaimed “We’re not done yet!” after being sent to the box.  MNLHN Reporter Andru Wheaties is on the case, digging into potential future moves by the Whalers.

Ducks Fight Over Who Gets to be Julie ‘The Cat’ Gaffney

The Mighty Ducks jersey debut didn’t go the way they hoped, dropping a 3-1 decision to the Whalers.  The Ducks’ strategy of all Mighty Ducks characters names on the back of their jerseys was fun, but poorly executed, as many players decided not to participate.  When inquired if his jersey said “Julie ‘The Cat’ Gaffney”, Mighty Ducks G Ronnie Ilitch exclaimed, “NO, IT SHOULD.  WHY DIDN’T I DO THAT?”  It was at this point that Mighty Ducks Backup Goalie Charles Machi exclaimed, “NO!  I SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT!  I’M THE CAT GUY”  Multiple bystanders commented that Machi would be Goldberg, leading Machi to walk off in a huff.  The narrative doesn’t hold as the Ducks always ended up winning at end of the movie.

This is MNLHN Senior Reporter Jarómy Drágr reporting.