4th Round Draft Pick and 90th Trimester Child Brad Marchand Dave “Davey” Podolan laced up for the Nordiques yesterday for a very special night. Davey has been dreaming about playing with the Nordiques all season. Unfortunately, even though Davey goes to all of the games, he has yet to show up to play. However, GM Jeremy Drager was moved by a letter Davey sent to the team, and asked him to skate out against the Americans.

Someone must have helped him with the spelling

The little hero just needed permission to skate with all the big tough hockey players. Fortunately, Davey’s caretaker April Podolan finally allowed Davey to hit the ice, even though she knew the risks involved.

“Little David has been pleading with me for weeks to let him play. I figure he’ll be fine. I mean, he’s already lost half his baby teeth. And I heard the Americans are all soft little pussies, anyway.” -April Podolan

Davey started out a bit nervous, trying to practice all the cool moves he’s seen the pros do but without any luck. He managed to take a couple shots, but they flew past the net. Finally, the Americans took pity on the little fella and let him walk through all of them and score on a “flailing” Andrew Hetes. Davey had a big, enthusiastic celly, none the wiser that the goal was given to him by the kind Americans.

Olivere was pissed, however, that the Americans would sacrifice a potential win just to inflate some kid’s ego. Late in the 3rd period, he lined up the little guy while Davey was waving to his mother in the stands and lit him up like a Christmas tree. Mandatory reporters Bin and Cipps had to leave the ice to call CPS, allowing Skillman to score the Americans second goal.

April still doesn’t know where her little boy is

The Nordiques, not knowing what to do, decided to prop up the lifeless Davey in the faceoff circle in the final minute of the game. When the puck dropped, Davey collapsed onto the dot and squirted the puck to D man Jeremy Drager. Drager ripped a clap bomb so hard all the panties in a 2 mile radius spontaneously dropped. Bin made it on the ice with just enough time to tip the shot for a goal, not that he needed to. The team picked up Davey’s corpse and threw it over the bench in celebration. The Nordiques would go on to win the game 3-2 in a shootout.

This is Junior Señor Reporter Carlos Antonio Machismo signing out.