Troy Otto may go down as the most talented team captain in All Star Game History after creating the team that would go on to defeat him in a 10-2 stomping. Troy Otto was already a controversial pick for the All Star Game against Vezina shoe-in John Floreno, but no one could have predicted the just how lopsided this goalie battle was going to be. JFlo boasted a solid 95.0 SV% on 40 shots, whereas Otto posted a paltry 64.2% on 28 shots (Even Machi could have done better!). Otto built his team extremely North Star heavy, whereas the opponents featured strong candidates from all other teams besides the Americans, most notably the Ducks and Nordiques. Without Drager holding them back, the Diques found a rhythm and the Ducks and Trent finished the job. Ducks Star Shawn Shuga Hardy netted 2 goals, and even pathetic no talent Dave P managed to put one past Troy Otto. Trent ended the night with a hat trick, but one goal was not without controversy. It was the opinion of Otto and his team that Trent scored after a blatant offsides. However, trained and certified referee Brian Bustamente made no call. Forgetting that you play until the whistle, the White Walkers gave up on the play and Troy stood there yelling at Busta. Trent took this opportunity to score the game’s second goal.

“No fair! No one said Trent could play with a Valyrian Steel Stick!”

By the time the 80 minutes on the clock had run to 0:00, it wasn’t funny anymore. Troy’s family had deserted him, the crowd were all on their phones, and I was getting pretty tired of that goal horn. Some candid photos of Otto were taken, though, so the night wasn’t a total bust.

“Name something with no weaknesses!”
“North Stars?”

 

“What team will win the MNL Stanley Keg in 2018?”
“Uhh D. North Stars Final Answer”

 

“Coming up with 3 jokes is hard!”

Thank you for organizing this fun night Troy and Panty! But maybe next year someone else should pick the teams!

From the losing team of the Bender Bowl, this is Carlos Antonio Machismo kicking someone while he’s down.