I feel like I’ve heard this story before. The North Stars are gaining momentum. They’ve made a run through the league and they’re getting cocky, they’re looking at #EightIsGreat and they’re psyched. Then along come those dastardly Golden Seals, looking to spoil all of the fun.

If you’re thinking that the Seals won, then waltzed themselves to the Stanley Keg Finals to capture the championship, while the North Stars stumbled down to a last place finish, you haven’t been paying very much attention. That’s last year, baby!

This year, the story is quite a bit different.  The North Stars are shooting up and the Golden Seals are diving into the deepest depths of the Mariana Trench.  Period #1 from last night’s game felt like it was a very close game.  The Seals maintained possession and pushed hard against the North Stars defense.  Fans started to hear the coos of old from the North Stars crease.  Slowly but surely, Troy’s skin started to turn greener than his pads as he started to Hulk out in rage; however, the North Stars eventually took over, starting with an aberration of a play by North Stars D Adam Suokas.  After Seals F Shaun Eisenmenger snuck past Suoka’s linemate Brandt Williams, Suokas looked inside of himself and found a new gear never once used.  He chased down ShaunE and drove the play into the corner.  After this, Troy was all smiles.  He was yelling through those smiles, but they were all smiles nonetheless.

As play continued on, the efforts of the Seals slowly dwindled as the goals of the North Stars continued to increase.  The Seals were buzzing, trying to find a new way to solve Troy, as multiple power play opportunities were squandered.  With about two minutes left in the game, the arena went quiet as everyone biggest fear happened: Seals GM Todd Otto’s skate stepped on the puck and he took a dangerous tumble into the boards.  Fans were gasping, worrying that he tore a ligament or broke a leg.  Otto howled in pain, asking for space and the clock to stop.

It was my back!  I landed on the puck, my back hurt, my kidney hurt.  I was so out of position, I could barely breathe! ~Todd Otto

 

Eventually, Otto left the ice under his own will and the game resumed.  His injury wasn’t enough to kickstart his team as the Seals allowed the empty net goal to give the Stars a 3-0 win.  The Seals are in total disarray, trying to get out of a 4 game slump.  The North Stars are now working on #NineIsDivine and are current favorites for lifting the Stanley Keg.

The question of how this happened seems to have been solved in a disposition of Tye Otto.  Tye said the two experienced a Freaky Friday (the 1976 or the 2003 one) over the summer, where they flipped GM skills.  Todd Otto looks like the NBA All-Stars that had their skills taken away in Space Jam.  Where he goes now, nobody knows.

From Hazel Park Ice Arena, this is MNLHN Senior Reporter Jarómy Drágr reporting.