Jeremy Coan returned to the locker room dejected last night after a series of blunders on the ice in the ring caused him to lose his title against the crowd favorite BluLine. Coan began the fight floating into the offensive zone making BluLine his bitch. Coan was dancing around BluLine, and he looked like a technical genius, creating many opportunities and openings. However, later in the game fight, Coan’s lack of conditioning and recent injuries began to present themselves. In the 3rd round, BluLine goaded Coan to commit an illegal cross, forcing the referee to stop the fight. Boos and jeers erupted in the arena, and Coan dropped his head as he returned to his bench corner. Coan quickly came back out, hoping to get revenge. But BluLine saw him coming and avoided his charge just in the nick of time. Coan became unbalanced and slammed hard to the ground. A TKO was called and BluLine stood triumphantly over the defeated Coan, humiliating the poor Goalie turned “fighter.” The Nordiques would go on to win 3-2, citing “Coan’s embarrassing display” as the reason for the close game against the neutered Seals.

Just stay down buddy. It can only get worse.

This is Junior Señor Reporter Carlos Antonio Machismo picking on losers.