Throughout the week, MNL Fall/Winter Commissioner and Patriarch Troy Otto attempted to set up a league-wide players photo.  Slack was abuzz with the prospect of all the players getting together to commemorate the season; however, the Nordiques had different plans.  With all of the players sitting at center ice at the regularly scheduled 9:55 PM, the Diques stayed in the locker room, refusing to participate.  When pressed for the issues they are protesting, different players provided different reasons:

“I want Brandt on my team.  It’s all I talk about in the Slack for some reason.  I’m going to peacefully protest until the North Stars grant his release.” ~David “Weeble Wobbles” Cipparone

“I want better clocks in the locker room so we know when we’re missing the league picture.  A QUARTZ clock.  3 of em!  One in Hazel Park time, one in Greenwich Mean Time, and one in Quebec City time!” ~Jeremy “Panty Dropper” Drager

“Coach told me to stay in the locker room for the whole game.  Not really a 100% sure about his game plan…”  ~Hal “Can’t Let You Do That, DaveP” Doherty

“i jsut wantt my teef back” ~Dave “DaveP” Podolan

“Get rid of the Blue Line!  Offsides is DUMB.  Ain’t nothing holdin me back!” ~Jeremy “Cowboy” Coan

“I want everyone to dress like we did Week 1.  I was beautiful.”  ~Gio “GQ” Orlandi

“Oh, I have no clue what I was protesting, I was just joining in.  This league’s so fun!  I love it, you guys got somethin’ real special here.”  ~Paul “Bin” Biliti

“…”  ~Eric Lepoudre

Seals Owner and GM Todd “Whoop” Otto had some strong comments to add to the situation:

“We can’t let the actions of the Diques sway our League’s well-being.  We can’t have the inmates running the prison.”

This sparked public outrage from both political figures and fans alike.  Diques GM and Noted Anti-Whooper Jeremy “Panty Dropper” Drager chimed in by saying “INMATES?!?  The Nordiques have the lowest PIM count one third through the season, a fourth of the amount the Golden Seals have.  How you doing over there, Mr. Pot?  Kettle’s feeling fine.”  Eventually, Nordiques D Eric LePoudre broke his Vow of Silence he took at the beginning of the season and took to Twitter to speak his mind.

Needless to say, the Seals-Diques game this upcoming week will have more than a battle to stay out of last place on the line, but a heavy amount of political discourse attached to it.

From Locker Room #6 in Hazel Park Ice Arena, this is MNLHN Senior Reporter Jarómy Drágr reporting.