Byline: Viking Arena Prime Time Game

In what can only be described as a thorough win, the Mighty Northstars defeated and outmatched the Diques. The plan from the beginning was to intimidate the Stars with the presence of silky mitts @jcoan. The strategy was for Coaner to only skate in warmups to test the groin. He was to stand at center ice just glaring at Troy for the 3 minute pre-game.

The pre-game talk for the Diques was to start fast, pop an early goal or two then chirp @ottotroy29 until he released his fury and rage on his own defensemen. The plan went perfectly, only it was the Northstars who set the plan into action.

@jserda (insert mattress joke here) and Vertregt put the Northstars up quickly lighting the score board on the first shift of the game. The Nordiques woke from their slumber to pull within one with a snipe by Bin off a slick, beautie, saucey pass from @gorlandi while circling behind the net.

Heavy forchecking was the story of the night as the Northstars frustrated the Diques. The @deltsig33 @jserda @Vertregt line was all over the Diques 1A line. “Serda was like a fuckin $2 whore on me all night. That dude has a fuckin motor that doesn’t quit” (he was actually talking to Weaver whom he thought was Serda) said Bin after the game on the Viking Arena Labatt Blue Party Deck. That line took @davep and @gorlandi out of the game most of the night. The Nordiques did have some chances but were thwarted by an underated @ottotroy29 . Finally super sub Qtip was able to fill the net. The Northstars put the game out of reach with two more tallies within 30 seconds of each other.

Dave Vapey D was very frustrated after the loss. “I want ta beet dose guys sooooo bad. I cant score on Troy if he was in front of a socker goal. Nows I have to listen to his bullshit for five more week”.

“I give those guys alot of credit. They are solid up and down their roster. I don’t know how Troy is doing it, but he actually is playing good. He must have went to a Glenn Hanlon goalie clinic during the summer” commented @hal .

A scary moment came late in the game as Nordiques defenseman and heart of the team @pantydropper was struck in the melon with an errand stick. He was stunned and went down to his knees. He stood back up and immediately collapsed back to the frozen surface. It was as if the ghost of recent tragically deceased @chad_paulinski entered Pantys soul. Tiny imaginary birds circled around Pantys head as a dazed and confused look happened upon his angelic face. “Panty is a warrior. He would never be stretchered off the ice. He got up to his feet and headed to the locker room under his own power” said Nordiques Hot Player of the Game @smatchmo .

The night commenced for the Diques just as their fallen hero Panty did… Confused, stunned, drunk, and defeated.

Nordiques Insider
Dickie Dunn