Get Diqued On

Seals Get The Dique For First Time In MNL History

By line: (AP) Hazel Park Viking Arena

Last night the re-vamped Nordique’s broke a long losing streak to the Mighty Seals. In a hard fought victory, the Nordique’s were firing on all cylinders. Previously, the Diques franchise had never beaten the Seals. That all changed with a “team win”. “The boys worked as a cohesive unit. From spectacular netminding, rock solid defense and numerous quality scoring chances by both lines” stated shirtless and gloveless grind line center Cip. The Nordique’s jumped ahead in the first period with a beautie from steady defenseman Eric Lepoudre.

The second period featured a redirection from the point by Bin’s backside. The Nordique’s carried the play through the first 39 minutes. As if a switch went on, the Seals mounted a furious come back in the final seven minutes. “We got caught on our heals” stalwart defenseman Panty quoted. “The Seals realized they needed to force the play offensively”. The Seals mounted an offensive attack led by ShaunE and super sub Peso. In a post game interview, freshly baked Peso commented on what transpired. “We got discombobulated late in the game during an offensive faceoff. We had 6 guys on the ice and confusion set in. We needed our key players out there and Qtip refused to come off the ice”. Qtip believes he is the straw that stirs the drink and needed to stay out there for the important draw deep in the Diques zone. “I am a top line player and under appreciated by my team. I requested a trade as soon as the game was over” which prompted team management to review their options. “I will never wear the Seals sweater again. Wait, we dont have jerseys!” Qtip added.

The winning Diques sealed (see what I did there) with a top titties snipe from Bin who showed rare emotion after the goal. “I’ve never scored a goal like that before and just closed my eyes and let’er rip”. The top line displayed elegant passing throughout the night. Right winger and stylish Italian Gio looked spectacular and DaveP’s relentless forchecking was key for victory. Team broadcaster Dickie Dunn described the Nordique’s play by observing pin-point passing across the milky white ice. The defense made smart plays all night and quickly moved the puck forward during neutral ice transitions. Coaner, who was out of the lineup due to a debilitating groin injury lamented “you should never lose your job due to injury… but I’m gonna have a hard time cracking the lineup”.

The Diques improved their record to 2-2 on the season. “Im real proud of the boys. It was a huge psychological win by finally beating those guys” said team GM Panty Dropper. The GM also offered condolences to the family of Stars forward Chad who suffered irreversible brain damage last night. “Were pulling for Chad to come out of his coma. He’s a quality grinder and an even better human being”.

Writen by: Junior Junior Dique Analyst Reporter Dickie Dunn

Bustanaut takes 0 credit for the writing of this article. He is strictly the publisher.