Early Tuesday, Nordiques F David Podolan was arrested at the Ambassador Bridge Secondary Security checkpoint, attempting to smuggle over 80 jerseys on his person in preparation for Week 3 of Monday Night Lights.  US Border Patrol noticed a short 4 foot tall by 4 foot wide man attempting to drive a GMC Acadia over the Ambassador Bridge.  The officers at the secondary security checkpoint took Podolan into custody after realizing that Podolan was wearing contraband from China and was attempting to sneak it into the country.

“I downt no wut the prolbem is.  There just jurzees,” drawled Podolan.  “Im just tryna bring em n 4 mai bois.  Otterwhys, Troy will kik me from the league lol.”  Officers said they had no concerns around Podolan’s vehicle until he became hostile, shouting for them to “let [him] the expletive in, you expletive expletive!”  Podolan was dragged away screaming “I pleed the fith!”  It was then that they noticed he had nearly 250 kilos of Fresh Snow™ to powder on goalies across the league.

The League expects no further punishment, as this is considered general high-jinks from Podolan.

From the Canadian Border, this is MNLHN Senior Reporter Jarómy Drágr reporting.