It didn’t take long for the Evil Empire North Stars to post a goal on the board last night verses the Whalers. In fact, it only took 9 seconds for super sub Shawn Sugar Hardy to beat Clawz on a wicked wrist shot. “I quickly glanced up on the clock after he scored off the opening draw” commented Paul Bin Biliti “I thought my record was broken”. Bin was referring to the fastest goal in MNL history, 8 seconds, he recorded in 2023 as a Scout. This near record breaking feat got Dickie thinking about some of the all time career MNL stats. The research department spent hours on the following information and statistics. Years ago #22 Paul Proctor was awarded the first ever MNL Golden Puck during a moving pre-game ceremony, becoming the first player to achieve 100 regular season MNL goals. As of last night the league has three players who have broken the century mark in career lamps lit and one more knocking at that magical plateau. I only researched players who have been in the league seven years or more…. These are regular season totals only!

1. Pauly Proctor 166 Goals 103 Assists for 269 points.

2. Sugar Shawn Hardy 129 Goals 114 Assists for 243 points.

3. Shaun E 121 Goals 64 Assists for 185 points.

According to our league statistician Andrew Hetes and verified by the official MNL Records database… the next MNL’er projected to break the 100 goal barrier is Ryan Peso Monette. His currently sits only six shy after netting two beauties last night.

4. Peso 94 Goals 71 Assists for 165 points.

Here are some other notable career statistics for some of our favorite players…

Pistol Pete 86 Goals 77 Assists for 163 points.

Captain Jack Serda 75 Goals 76 Assists for 151 points.

Chad Paulinski 56 Goals 55 Assists for 111 tip jars!

Trent Young 79 Goals 63 Assists for 142 points.

Bin 78 Goals 86 Assists for 164 points.

Tim Kimmel 51 Goals 39 Assists for 90 points.

DaveP 20 Goals 62 Assists for 82 points.

Hal 22 Goals 18 Assists for 40 points. That is some massive production from a late rounder.

I was going to research penalty minutes but my pen ran out of ink tabulating Woodsie…

Dickie Dunn