More information has come to light in the days succeeding the feisty contest between the Scouts and Whalers Monday evening at Viking Ice Arena. To recap, both squads engaged in a game normally reserved for the dog days of mid-December when animosity has built up betwixt teams after playing head to head several times during the season. Scout’s rough and tumble defenseman Keith Wood was doing his best Scott Stevens impersonation by defending his goalie through intimidation. Quirico Ziraldo was doing his best Q-Tip imitation by being a pest on the ice and an overall deviant to play against. We all expect that type of competitiveness from those players. But something was different as time expired and the final horn blew. Former golden boy and multi-time 1st overall pick Pauly 22 Proctor lost his mind and accosted the lovable Bob Gibb in a viscous attack. As Gibby celebrated an empty net goal that secured the Scouts victory, a truly out of character assassination attempt occurred. Undoubtedly seeing red with frustration, Proctor unleashed a powerful two handed blow to the chest of the unsuspecting and vulnerable Gibb which took him off his feet and spilling his carcass to the milky ice surface. “I thought it was Knybel” said Proctor who has been relocated to witness protection facility for his own safety after threats to his life have been pouring in online. “The Whalers organization is currently cooperating with the Hazel Park Police detectives in this matter” commented Whaler GM Dylan Lessner. “The safety and security of our star player is of the utmost importance to our franchise… I just don’t want the police department to look too deep into my personal life or find my #ONLY GOOSE FANs account“. Reports out of HPPD state that they have a person of interest responsible for the online threats. “We have credible information that the death threats have originated from the IP address: woodsie’smagicalmushroomemporium”.
If you have any information regarding the possible owner of this IP address please contact https://www.twitch.tv/mnlhl and ask them to do a fricken’ podcast!
Dickie Dunn
