A clear line of demarcation has formed this year in MNL and is unmistaknly depicted in the standings. There is a top and bottom half of the league that separates the big boy teams and the childrens table. The mighty Whalers, Tigers and North Stars are dominating the rest of the league, leaving teams in their dust. “There really are only three teams in all of MNL” said a confident Jeff Skillman in a post game press conference. Only the Seals teeter on the brink of ‘are they good or are they bad?’. “We could really go either way” said everyone’s favorite Uncle Whoop. “We don’t score many goals (only 10 on the year through six games) but we don’t have to…we have Santi!”. The distinction of the top end teams is their firepower. Each of the top three juggernaut clubs have a top end sniper in Sugar, Slick Rick and the Golden Brett who have accounted for 32 Ginos which is 29% of the total MNL goals. The other 67 guys in the league have only accounted for remaining the 71%. “Having one of these snipers is paramount to a teams success” proclaimed Whaler GM Loosey Goose whose club is undefeated through one rotation.

Public Safety Announcement from MNL International Man of Leisure Pauly Proctor: DO NOT TEMPT AUSTRALIA! The MNL great recently returned from a whirlwind tour of debauchery through Indonesia and the Land Down Under. Escaping relatively unscathed during his time in Jakarta, former 22 flew south to Australia. While there he wrestled an alligator, sang at the Sydney Opera House and spent an intimate sex and pill fueled evening with model Miranda Kerr. Proctor proclaimed “I thought everything in Australia was out to kill you? I made it”. Little did Mr. Proctor know but his last evening he was bitten by a White-tailed Lampona spider. The bite seemed innocent enough but as time passed his left thigh became increasingly painful. “It started out like a mosquito bite, but shit man, its a slow acting venom inside my leg”. The open pustulous wound has grown to the size of a ping pong ball surrounded by painful red swelling. “I have been brought on by the Scouts organization to consult on the injury” said 2009 Hour Detroit Magazine Top Doc Dr. Michael H. Sikorski, DO. “We may have to amputate…especially if the Whalers are matched up against the Scouts in the playoffs”.

How will the injury affect the three time Stanley Keg Champion? Only time and copious amounts of antibiotics will tell. 

Dickie Dunn