Monday night the vaunted Maroons wanted to make a statement to the rest of the league. Viewing the contest as a measuring stick, the Maroons looked at the match up versus the number one team in the league as a chance to prove they are Keg contenders. “We feel like we can stack up against any team in the league” said team spokesperson and criminal defense lawyer Zach Hartkop. The club came out flying and setting the tone within the first period by potting three goals within the first fifteen minutes and breaking the spirit of the high flying Whale. Power forward and prolific goal scorer Hal Doherty deposited his third consecutive games goal off a nice pass from Bin to open the scoring. “I pretty much do all of the work on my line and pick up the slack of Sugar and Bin out there” teased a delighted Doherty after the game. Not to be outdone the Kruso, Hartkop and Wood line continued their dogged play and got on the scoresheet with a Woodsie goal shortly after. The goal would get him his sixth of the campaign and put Wood within the top 11 players in scoring. Never shy to commenting, Woodsie said “It’s great to get the scoring going again. Great to not let off with the lead. Huge statement game. Win or lose, we’re playing a great full team game and playing like that, we’re a nightmare for the league”. Sugar would beat two Whalers on a 1 on 2 to snipe for his seventh of the year and before the grey and blue knew it the game was decided.

“We can’t just throw our sticks out there and watch the Drake score eight goals a game. We need to do our part too” said Chad Paulinski who was the only player to beat a hot Clawz on the night. Many of the Whalers were frustrated out there and their disdain was palpable and visible throughout the arena. In particular, goalie turned power forward Dylan Loosey Goosey seemed very irritated. “I’m just gripping my enormous stick too tight right now” said Goose on the Labatt Blue Patio “I’m sorry to Judge for practically raping him in the corner… it’s been 72 hours since I last busted my nut and felt a little frisky”. Bin would finish off the scoring by cutting to the middle on a two on one and firing a wrister off the post and in behind goaltender Ryan Z. More emotions came out in the post game hand shake line. Normally the hand shake is a long time tradition to honor the other team for a job well done. This time an anonymous Whaler targeted Bin for a private conversation. The un-named player questioned the play of pharmacologically impaired pest Keith Wood. He stated “What the hell is up with that guy? He’s a fuckin’ RETARD!” Bin quickly responded to the statement by offering “Yeah… but he’s OUR retard!”. The win gives the Maroons a 4-0-2 rotation and vaults them into the second seed in the standings.

Dickie Dunn