The Tigers had a chance to extend their lead in the standings over the Americans Monday night with a victory over the Nordiques but the Ivory Tower had different plans. The black and gold fell to the fleur-de-lis 4-2 after having the lead going into the third stanza, losing out on a critical three points. The loss stings but what transpired at the 11:30 game was a systematic application of salt in a wound. Earlier in the day the Ivory Tower green-lit a plan to assure the Americans a victory. Twelve of the fourteen GM’s approved an egregious “sub-up” roster for the red white and blue, virtually guaranteeing them a win. GM Paulie Antioch submitted his absentee list for the match against the vaunted North Stars and promptly received an email with a list of approved fill-in players hand selected by the League. The list of Americans who could not make the game included Keila who was replaced by John Vanbiesbrouck, Dave P replaced by Jimmy Carson, Machi replaced by David Legwand, Serda replaced by Mike Modano and Brauny replaced by Al Iafrate. This is a clear violation of the “sub up” rule and it didn’t sit well with the Tigers.
“The Ivory Tower and Troy in particular gifted those guys three points” said normally mild mannered Andy Femm during a post game interview. His thoughts were echoed by GM and goal scorer RAllen “I vehemently protested against the league allowing this and I was told to shut my whore mouth by Panty himself”. The heavily substituted line up dispatched the North Stars who feigned disappointment after the loss. “We played hard but Coach directed us before the game to ‘go down’ in the fifth round much like a heavy weight boxer who owes the mob” admitted North Star All Star nominee Chad Paulinski.
A Politico Straw Poll analyzed that 89% of the league agreed with the decision to allow the American roster. The only descension was among the Tiger players who were visibly upset. “That’s a bunch of shit” said Tim Kimmel through his legal council and spiritual advisor Zeke Rawlins. GM Jeff Skillman did not mince words. “The Ivory Tower wants to gift them a win to keep them in the race…Well I say fuck ’em. We play next week. No subs! We will play them three on three if we have to and beat them!”. Seals GM and currently in second place for the Essence of Otto Award (behind Lindsay Otto) Whoop Otto wasn’t bashful in his explanation for his affirmative vote to allow the subs “It’s good for the league”… but obviously not good for the Tigers.
Pissed Off Dickie Dunn
