On Monday evening, North Stars GMs Troy and Tye Otto issued an Amber Alert for missing F Chase MacEachern.  MacEachern, who responds to ‘The General’ or ‘McCrackin’, was last seen wandering outside of Legends in Downtown Detroit with a bottle of Fireball.  Troy Otto was quoted through tears saying “He usually comes straight home after school!  I have no clue where he could be!”  When asked for a quote, Tye Otto said “Who’s Amber?   She sounds hot.  ….wait, McCrackin’s missing?”

Troy Otto grew concerned after MacEachern no call-no showed for the North Stars on Monday night.  The team had to play without him, but their concerns are growing as the hours tick by.  Officer Aaron Riley and Fire Marshal Paul Biliti were brought in for the search and have cautioned all search party volunteers to be careful while looking for MacEachern.  “[MacEachern] is a noted wild animal, known to extract the teeth of his prey.  Please approach with caution and safety in mind,” said Officer Riley.  “MacEachern is commonly doused in alcohol, making him extremely flamable,” Biliti said.  “Taken caution to not spark any flames around him.”

Details

Name: Chase MacEachern

Also Known As:  The General, McCrackin

Hometown: Grosse Pointe

Height: 6’1″

Weight:  ???

Draft Round: 3

Known Enemies: Dave Podolan, USA Hockey Insurance, Adam Suokas

Interests: Alcohol, Boobs, Sniping Tendies

 If you have any leads on the location of MacEachern, please call 1-800-MNL-HELP.

This is MNLHL Senior Reporter Jarómy Drágr reporting.