In a tragic twist of fate two North Stars team members guided the Ducks to an overtime victory Monday night over the Tigers 4-3. Troy “Sniper” Otto and Ryan “Moff” Maffesoli scored the tying and winning goals to complete the comeback which propelled the Ducks above the North Stars in the standings. “Because of my significant passion for winning all I was focused on was playing my best” said Otto in a post game press conference “But after I scored that beautiful goal I thought to myself… Holy fuck! I just screwed us!”. Not only did the matriarch of the vaunted North Stars cement his team into 7th place, but so did star defenseman Maff. With time running out in the third stanza the Ducks pulled Ryan Z from the goal to add an extra attacker. Sugar Shawn Hardy picked up a loose puck in the slot, fed it to Brauny at the point who surgically passed off to his defense partner Maff. Seeing a screen being set up by Bin in the slot, Maff let a clapper go which beat Officer Riley glove side to tie the score at 3 with 1:08 left. “It felt good” said Maff “I don’t really want to be a North Star anyway and I look fabulous in orange and black” (referring to his Kamikaze Falcons attire).
Much of the game was controlled by the top line of Sugar, Bin and Busta. All three players had glorious chances to score only to be denied by breakout player of the year nominee Officer Riley. Busta stated “We had multiple chances on every shift we took tonight. Bin should of had three or four himself and I should have had at least one”. Only Sugar could find the back of the net for the Ducks with two on the night giving him 6 for the year. Hardy is currently responsible for 46% of the teams goals for the season and has no plans of bucking that trend. “I feel pretty good as to where my game is right now. I just go out there and do what they pay me to do” said a phlegmatic Sugar.
The inaugural season for the Tigers has been up and down. Once again they were without league darling Matt Taylor who was a late scratch due to an unspecified condition. In his place, 4th overall pick Bill Suits jumped into the lineup. He Suits He Scores lived up to his billing as one of the top players in the league with two wicked top corn goals. Fellow tender of the net Andrew Spicy Hetes noted that “no one” would have stopped Suits’ first goal. “He really stepped up his play for this game” said a hobbled Turtle Tim D’Onofrio “the league hasn’t seen this side of Suits until now”.
Next week the new Sub Rule will take effect limiting substitutions to lower round picks. The result will impact teams that have players missing or absent and will be forced to use lesser value replacements. “No team should be rewarded with sub ups when they have guys who don’t want to show” commented DougE Fresh. “I have dedicated myself to my club and happily drive 22 hours every Monday from Moosejaw Saskatchewan to play”. A big advocate for the rule change is the Trusted Voice of MNL Brian Pearcy. Contacted via SKYPE an ostentatious Pearcy exclaimed “You saw what happened last night with the current sub rule… the Busta egregiously made his team better by putting Antioch in for Turtle, Troy for Gibby and Crunk for Jimmy Ellis. That’s bullshit and I will spend 20 minutes talking about this on MY podcast tonight at 9pm. Don’t forget to call the Whoop Line 714-75-WHOOP, check YouTube, Twitch, Spotify, Google Play, Stitcher, Apple Podcast or email podcast@mnlhl.com. You can also shop for custom MNL gear by clicking the link on mnlhl.com.
Dickie Dunn
