For the third straight season, Paulinski has opted to sit out of the Kamikaze Falcons season after negotiations stalled in the off-season.  In a report during the 2018 off-season, KFalcs GM Jeremy Drager told us that he even tried to bring in North Stars GM Tye Otto to help with negotiations.  Hugs between the two sides allegedly stalled when it came to agreeing on the amount of compliments the KFalcs are allowed to give Paulinski a week.  Turtle Tim has recently started representing Paulinski as both a recruiter and an agent and told reporters after Wednesday’s game: “We’re ok with signing a lifelong deal with the Birds but my client wants no more than 0 compliments a week.”  This is apparently a real sticking point for the group of nice guys on the KFalcs.

Still in the holiday spirit, Paulinski agreed to a one game deal for Wednesday night’s tilt against the Rockets. Anchoring the second line between Maff and Pearcy, Paulinski lead the KFalcs to their first regulation win in the 2018/19 Season scoring 2 goals. This season has been a bit of a drop off for the birds after winning the D3 Championship last season due to salary cap issues and they have struggled to put pucks in the back of (the opposition’s) net.  Last night however, the KFalcs had no shortage of offense as they netted a season high 6 goals in a 6-1 victory over the Rockets.

After last night, Paulinski is no longer under contract; however, the KFalcs are still flexing their rights to block him from playing in other metro Detroit USA Hockey beer leagues.   This has forced Paulinski to continue playing with the Ann Arbor dynasty, Ice-O-Topes.  In a conference call this morning, Turtle Tim told us that Paulinski was unsatisfied with the amount of compliments he received on the bench after his second goal. Turtle Tim went on to tell us that Paulinski is open to exploring all his options at this point.

Eager to reach an agreement, KFalcs management is proposing a revolutionary deal where the KFalcs are allowed to be +1 on compliments every week.  This would allow Paulinski to still make his :tipjar: statements but the KFalcs bench to shower him with compliments on his play.  The fans in the Falcons Nest are optimistic that this will be the deal that locks up the fan favorite Paulinski for years to come.

Signing off,

Dickie Dunn’s Secretary’s Intern

JUMMMBOOO Coffee Getter