Byline: Shamrock Hazel Park
A swarm of illegal immigrants of Greek descent stormed the southern border of America on Monday night. The group donned in purple and teal looked to gain asylum and move up the MNL standings. President @manny ordered his troops to defend their territory but were severely outmatched. “We just couldn’t build our wall fast enough” said a dejected @wilkie . “They used weapons of mass destruction including curved sticks, sharpened blades of steel and rocket propelled rubber discs to beat us handily 6-2”. Led by infidel @pniphoratos , the Ducks stomped on the Americans proving that grip strength trumps a @jmcshannock clap bomb.
The red white and blue felt confident after the first intermission tied 2-2. “We believed we were gonna walk all over them but things just fell apart” said defenseman @nekogt6 who scored a goal on the night. The quack had a different opinion. @Busta said “we had a horrible first. We did nothing right so I took it upon myself to get us going”. Busta sniped and set up numerous chances for @vinande and Chocolate Thunder @mbooker . @ctaylor14 continued his MVP play scoring on a breakaway. Not to be outdone, Pistol single handedly put the game out of reach. He completed his natural hat trick with a beautiful tip from the high slot. “All I’m worried about is catching @hardyparty92 in the points race”.
Notable was the scoresheet after the game. Many players had big stat nights. Pete returned to the hat trick lounge and dusted off his smoking jacket that was in storage since last year. @Tim D’Onofrio made himself eligible to receive the highly valued MNL Playmaker patch. Bin kept his point streak alive with two more assists. But most puzzling was the two assists accrued by @pantydropper who didn’t even play in the game. “It’s good to be the commissioner and keeper of the stats” commented a sly Drager while scarfing down a monster burger post game at the House of Shamrocks. When asked how he got on the scoresheet Drager said “I don’t know. Go ask my bff @JgtWrubel!”
This is Dickie Dunn reporting and leaving you with one thought… Let’s close the borders and keep these undesirable Ducks out!
