Da Na Na Da Na Na
Via LF Satcom Radio MNLN analysts were able to speak remotely with S.I reporter André Wheaties from the scorched sands of Tatooine.
Rumors of player draft status eligibility could be a key talking point of this years pre-draft regulations. Some players are pushing for 10, while others see 11 as the news standard. These “pseudo-rights” could play a factor into late round draft picks if allowed.
“The decision could come as early as the end of next week,” denotes League Executive and iron lunged tender (turned Mylec goal sniper) Troy Otto. “We need to see numbers for interest, and who’s paid Panty, and most importantly who will help fund raise the new Labatt Blue Party deck (scheduled to open in 2022).”
If allowed by the council of lumber wielding frat-wizards. A few “high” profile players have expressed interest in returning to the greasiest show on earth.
Vaunted names such as @redacted; who fought a ref last year, and could be heard saying “these guys are good,” in the only remaining GoPro footage of 17/18 season.
“Bin 2 electric boogaloo” the lavender soft handed brother of projected first round renascence Fire Marshall Bin Billiti (who spent this last year in metro Dearborn’s underground bubble hockey league). “Poopy pants” aka the non-biological brother of the strongest gripped Greek in MNL; matching his pants to what he’ll do to your team nightly shi-ate all over you (who’s contract expires February 2019 in Troy’s B league).
John Goemaere cousin, and blood relative of league policeman Officier A-Aron. Whom helped the Americans winthe MNL keg last year with his backstopping, replacing the last member who’s rights were released by the Americans after their historic cup run; controversial league personality, and secondly tender: Spicy Lettuce.
Mr. Spicy Lettuce the White became ineligible to play the remainder of the MNL season after signing a 1,000,000 Djiboutian Francs contract to play in the Djiboutian Federated Hockey League, (or DFHL) after the Americans first playoff win vs the Ducks.
My anonymous sources say that Mr. Spicy Lettuce was ‘duped’ into thinking that 1,000,000 Francs was ‘a lot of money’ (5,620 USD) spending that money to get to the fourth hottest country on earth alone. Since his dramatic exit from MNL, and introduction into the DFHL, he has since requested a release to his new team. Looking for a way out of the professional dustball league the Djiboutian Camel Burners have taken a wait and see approach to their new ‘Spicy’ star, issuing a generic statement on the issue:
“Badeecada loo yaqaan ‘Spicy Lettuce’ waa gawaarida gurigga ah ee aan jabin tuugada. Wuxuu dhammeeyaa waajibaadkiisa.”
Mr. Hades rights if not released by the Camel Burners will be eligible in any league internationally February 6th of 2019.
The possibility of a team drafting any of the above rumored players draft rights are entirely on the table for the 2018-2019 season, but could run into more than just league eligibility and, or contract issues. Team coherence is a must, and is on the mind of perennial Nordiques GM Järomir Drägr having this to say when asked about team chemistry, and his thought of late season additions by subtractions.
“[John Goemaere replacing Spicy Lettuce] they’re both good lockeroom guys, a Black Ace for a team trying to make a push late in the season [undoubtedly pointed to his Dique donned hat]. The former wants in full time, but is mired by this thing called a ‘real job.’ While the later uses the word ‘spicy’ a lot, and has possible visa, and contract issues. We’d have to see where we we’re at pick wise, and if we want to tolerate different dialects in the room [speaking to the word spicy]. It’s a decision for the draft for sure, if allowed.”
Taking a play out of Vegas Golden Knights playbook may prove to be a bold “sleeper” move that a team like the Nordiques or Northstars could leverage to get past their respective humps. It hasn’t been done yet in the MNL, but following the VGK blueprint of ‘signing’ an already proven player from a foreign league similar to Vegas Golden Knights legend Vadim Shipachyov (from the KHL whom averaged .33 GPG over three games) could be the innovative move that puts a MNL in the driver seat. And unlike the cheap cap hit of $4.5 million per year, just think what a of new pair of not brown hockey pants per year, or $100,000 Djiboutian Francs could get a team in MNL! The possibilities are endless. . .
-This has been André Wheaties reporting via LF Satcom radio, wading knee deep through depressingly skeletal children with no homes, and endless dirt.
Sierra Lima 39 out.
