The Ducks lost 4-1 Monday night in the first of a three game series against the Americans Paul Proctor and surprise guest Andrew Hetes. On the work site, American forwards could be seen on their lunch break, ensuring they were well nourished for the postgame beers.

“Well, after some delays, we had a productive 3 minute warmup after the zamboni left the ice. By that time, it was our union mandated lunch hour. Can’t upset the teamsters, ya know?” -Ryan Allen

Don’t let a deadline get in the way of a good break!

Proctor didn’t get the memo, however. and missed the first 15 minutes of his break. While his crew was off eating sandwiches and drinking beers, Proctor finished all the work, netting himself a hat-trick (with the help of the Ducks). With his ego intact, Proctor started his break and did nothing for the rest of the game.

This isn’t the only thing he’ll be jackhammering tonight #nohattricknopussy

The Americans also elected to contract out brick laying work to ex-employee Andrew Hetes. He jumped on a plane and made the 18 hour trip for the low paying gig. Hetes built an amazing wall that managed to get the attention of some of the highest offices in the nation.

Report to the Texas border at 0800, Hetes

“That’s a spicy wall! Sooo spicy!”

This is Junior Señor Reporter Carlos Antonio Machismo licking my wounds.