Byline: Ref Room Between Olympic and NHL Rink
Controversy continues to swirl around MNL league commissioner @ottotroy29 and his staff. The year has been plagued by on and off the ice antics resulting in rule changes, suspensions, life time bans, scandalous back door payments to zamboni drivers and a severe drop in @chad_paulinski’s play. Players and fans alike who attended the first ever consolation bracket game were sadly disappointed in the leagues decision to not have officials for the late games. “I paid alot of money to play in this highly skilled league. At least they could do is have refs!” argued Duck veteran @gibbintroy.
Both teams waited on the ice after their pre-game warmup for the arrival of a real or volunteer MNL referee. Both teams were perplexed when @pantydropper returned from the referee room with a message from the Commissioner “There will be NO referees tonight”. “This is total bullshit” said Dique Co-Hot Player of the Game @wilkie who subbed for the team and went +4 on the night. @allanz stated that he had overheard a conversation between Troy and referee in chief Greg Flemming which he paraphrased… “Go home. I’m not paying you guys to babysit those loser teams. They can play Sticks n Pucks for all I care. I only care about my Northstars!”
The game proceeded without zebra-like policemen and both teams adhered to hockeys principals. “It was fair and square just like a pickup basketball game. We called our own fouls” said honest @smatchmo . Mr Neville was also named Co-Player of the Game by his teammates. The game featured two too lines going head to head against each other. The Ducks waddled out @hardyparty92 @pniphoratos and Busta. The Diques countered with Bin @Peso and newly acquired free agent @bin13 . The crowd jumped to its collective feet to see two BIN’s playing on the same team.
Eloquently dubbed the “2 Bin’s 1 Cup Line” by absent player @hal , the dynamic passing and skill of the brothers was on full display. The 2B1C Line gracefully weaved their way all around the offensive zone depositing three of the four goals scored by the Quebexicans. “It was like watching Henrik and Daniel Sedin. They know where each other are every second and dont even have to look” gasped a spent @ericlepoudre behind his fogged spectacles.
“Our substitutions paved the way for victory tonight” said prospective future GM @CLAWZ. “I saw how down @chad_paulinski was in the locker room in between games. His Whalers took an ass whoopin’, it was beneficial to his psyche to snipe on his break away”. Young Chad was seen taking the powerful antidepressant Zoloft after the game. “All I could say was FUCK after I scored. Why couldn’t I do that 60 minutes before. Probably because I’m a 12th rounder”. The game ended in a 4-2 victory for the powder blue and extend their season long winning streak to two games. “I sawed da hi lites on da live stream. I fink i losted my spot on da team to Little Bin… he even made Peso look gooder!” said @davep who is undergoing a rehab stint with the Chicoutimi Sagueneens of the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League.
After completing his first career MNL game the younger of the two Bins recalled his emotions, “i was real nervous. I just wanted to contribute and help the guys win any way I can. I took it shift by shift. I put pucks to the net and was bangin’ in the corners. That Sugar guy you keep talkin’ about… he couldn’t wheel a tire downhill. I can’t believe you guys don’t have Refs!!!”
From the Volunteer MNL Ref Picket Line,
Dickie Dunn
