Byline: MNL Central Scouting Office
The once mighty Northstars seem to have lost their momentum heading into the playoffs. The Stars dropped a back and forth game to the surging Ducks last night 2-Nill. The game was an example of speed versus braun in which speed prevailed. The Ducks were paced by the youthful legs of @pniphoratos and a superb effort from game MVP Charles “In Charge” Machi.
The MNL Central Scouting Department unanimously moved Machi up the draft charts for the 2018/19 season. “The guy was in the mix the whole night” chatted goal scorer Turtle @Tim D’Onofrio “He was so dominant that we had him on the ice in the final seconds of a one goal game”. In an unprecedented show of respect Nordiques team representatives honored Machi with the Nordiques Hot Player of the Game helmet during post game festivities. “The guys were ribbing me about accepting an award from the Diques. It was kind of like winning the Prince of Wales trophy… You just don’t want to touch it” said Machi.
The Ducks top line featured speed. League front runner for MVP Sugar @hardyparty92 was relentless on the forecheck. Allan Z @allanz was flying all over the ice. Not to be outdone Pistola Pete @pniphoratos has brought his game up several notches. “Pete has found the fountain of youth and is playing like a 21 year old” teammate Brian Bustamante confidently said. Pistol commented on his performance over the past month… “I’m just trying to do all the little things. Keep it simple. Get pucks deep. Stay out of the box. Get pucks to the net. Two lines bangin’ all night long. Get pucks out. Back check, forecheck, paycheck”.
The game was not without controversy. The quality of officiating was again brought into question. Rugged tough guy and Northstars enforcer @Patron Saint of The North Stars once again found himself in the sin bin. Volunteer referee @Peso dinged the General for a two minute penalty after he accosted a Duck forward in the neutral zone. Stars offensive dynamo @dreamweaver said “that fuckin’ Peso makes calls against McCrackin purely based on his neanderthalic reputation. The guy is a class act. I mean he’s from Grosse Point for God’s sake!” Official Peso called another penalty during the game against the first place Stars but the Ducks were unable to take advantage.
Late in the game, team ring leader @ottotroy29 went behind the net to play the puck and saw an opportunity. The Ducks philosophy was to play an aggressive 2-1-2 forecheck and Sugar was streaking in to play the loose puck. Goaltender Otto, who is second in the league in G.A.A., stuck his rear end out and hip checked Mr Hardy who is out weighed by 75 pounds. The collision sent the Duck flying (pun intended) into the end boards. The benches stood in anticipation of a penalty but it was not assessed. From the back position, referee Bin only saw the end of the play. “I knew what that cock sucker did. Shit, I used to do the same thing in Juniors. I just didn’t actually see the infraction”. The encounter left a bad taste in the mouth of the Purple team.
Revenge was exacted later in the period when Sugar took liberties with Otto. “Those refs are fuckin’ blind. I didn’t do anything and 99 gets away with murder”. These comments come one week after a league wide communiqué was issued from the Commissioner’s office barring players from physically, mentally, spiritually, verbally and emotionally abusing referees. “So what… I chased Peso around the rink to bitch at him. What am I gonna do? Suspend myself?” The situation was diffused by Bin and cooler heads prevailed.
Veteran defenseman Brian Leroy @LeRoy was called for tripping General which put his team down in the closing minutes. Although pulling the flustered goalie gave the Northstars a 6 on 4 advantage they could not beat goalie call up Ronnie “shut out” Zennin. The Mighty Ducks put in an empty netter to seal the victory.
Beat Reporter
Dickie Dunn
