Confusion due to new officiating gestures led to higher-than-normal levels of buffoonery near end of last night’s Americans/Seals match up. American’s GM and officially the most official league official, Brauny, encouraged his team in the new year to review the changes to the league rules. They were familiar with the new reffing symbols and mostly kept their cool through the incident. The Seals however were not as familiar, and were understandably yet mistakenly offended by the officiating of the game.

To clear the air and prevent further incidents, here are the new gestures from the latest edition of the league rule book:

751(a) – Official’s Sight Impaired

Informative Gesture. Something got in the official’s eye which prevented him from seeing the play. Any illegal actions by a player were not seen and will not receive an additional call.

698(b) – Stick to Mouth

Penalty Gesture – 5 minute major. Similar to a high-sticking call but more severe. Used when a player’s stick makes contact with another player’s mouth resulting in less teeth.

746(d) – Solid D

Informative Gesture. The referee was able to see the play clearly and, in his professional opinion, the defensive players and/or goaltender are doing a great job.

891(a) – Fuck You

Informative Gesture. The referee is tired of a player’s behavior and has lost all professionalism. It’s on like Donkey Kong. Both the player and official will be removed from the league forever a.k.a Hulled out if this ever happens. Don’t fucking do it. We’re all there to have a good time with friends, get some exercise, and nullify that exercise with beers in the parking lot.

That ought to clears things up. Enough said. We look forward to a great rest of the season!

From the Parking Lot of Viking Ice Arena, this is Reihen Garin Adelhard Schniedelwichsen signing off. Danke schoen.