3 MNLHN writers look to embarrass themselves by putting their stupid opinions on the line. Our writers break into groups of three or four, and each make five BOLD predictions for the 2019-20 season. We then respond to our other writers’ predictions.
Enjoy the predictions, and come back at the end of the year for a good laugh.
Big Sexy’s Predictions:
North Stars stumble into a playoff berth, by the grace of god manage to make it to the finals, and get swept.
Jeremy: I think this will happen, but not the Stars. A different Otto will drunkenly stumble into the Playoffs.
Busta: No, this is exactly what will happen. 5/5 🍪
For the first time ever, not only will Drager score a goal, but he’ll do it in September. However, Pistol Pete won’t score his first goal until October.
Jeremy: Hard to do that from the pressbox.
Busta: He won’t score a goal in October, but he will get one on the scoresheet. 3/5 🍪
The league will have its first lifetime ban of a paid player. (Doesn’t include Walters because he didn’t pay lol)
Jeremy: This prediction gives me so much mental stress.
Busta: His name will be Chet Steadman. 2/5 🍪
Chad will play in more games than the General
Jeremy: Zero is not greater than zero.
Busta: There will be hugs all around. 4/5 🍪
DaveP will be a top 10 goal scorer in the league, but it won’t matter because the Whalers won’t make the playoffs
Jeremy: [Reading] …that’s not a very bold pred– [reads more] ….YIKES.
Busta: DaveP is a bum. 1/5 🍪
Panty’s Predictions:
There will be at least two new entrants to the hat trick club, and they’ll be in the 8th round or later
Charles: I think Wright is a shoe in for this as long as Pistol treats him right and doesn’t take credit for his goals. The whole league knows the benders are better than the stars when it comes to tripping into huge production games. I’m on board with this “bold” prediction.
Busta: Bin-Sugar-Busta. 10/5 🍪
Proctor will not walk away from Awards Night with the most awards like he always does, and neither will Matt Taylor
Charles: Add like one more whiny bitch award and Troy will be the one going home with the most hardware!
Busta: Are we still adding awards for Best Cookies? 2/5 🍪
In spite of new added talent, scoring will be down this year by 20%
Charles: Did defense get better? Yes. Did goalies get better? I’m calling it a wash. I think we see similar numbers per team as last year.
Busta: It’ll be so bad that we’ll need to send Troy back to net. 4/5 🍪
DaveP will be outside of the Top 10 in scoring come All Star Nomination day, but will get the people’s vote and play in the All Star game first team.
Charles: Wait really? The game that has Panty in it EVERY year is going to have DaveP as well? It’s time to give the fans only one All Star pick, can’t trust the people anymore.
…Also don’t look up my voting history please.
Busta: Yeah, and Proctor’s team will lead the Bender Bowl. 1/5 🍪
All 7 teams will be within 3 games of each other at the New Year.
Charles: SPICE LEVEL 5 PEPPERS! I don’t like this prediction, I LOVE this prediction! Everyone is gonna be sick of nail biters that by Christmas the GMs are gonna be asking Santa for broken ankles.
Busta: SNORE! 0/5 🍪
Busta’s Predictions:
Matt Taylor becomes the only player in MNL history to score 60 points in a season (with 3 less games than years prior).
Charles: Yes.
Jeremy: No.
After coming off the IR, Sam Machi will score his first career MNL goal in his first month back on the ice.
Charles: Is this gonna be like when the kid with cancer “scores” a touchdown?
Jeremy: #SammyStrong
Tye will score 0 goals again for the second straight year.
Charles: I know you needed to hit the word count, but this is just lazy.
Jeremy: This is titled “Bold Predictions”.
McCrackin will not miss a game, lead the Seals in goals scored and Be the key contributor to them winning the Stanley Keg.
Charles: The General probably contributed less to the birth of his child than the milkman, you think he’s contributing on the ice?
Jeremy: I take it back, you are well aware that this is a “Bold Predictions” article.
Proctor will win the Stanley Keg for the 4th year in a row.
Charles: You wrote a lot of papers the night before they were due in college, didn’t you?
Jeremy: With your last prediction, does this imply that Proctor gets traded to the Seals?!
