2017 North Stars: Unsolvable?

American's GM Manny on the case

How to beat the North Stars: Exploit their one weakness Fuck, Troy is playing out of his mind They already have 2 Ottos.  Trade Todd over there for the Bookhockey Self-Destruct! Dammit, Todd's a GM this season, he won't move himself.  Too proud! Kill Chad CRAP!  They already traded Chad.  And I'm pretty

Travel Ban Reinstated; Americans Deport Subs Back to Mexico

Last night, several hard-working Americans were commuting to work when a semi-truck driven by a red-blooded blue collar worker hopped the median on I-696 and caused a heavy traffic jam.  This held up Paul Proctor and Sam Machi, the Americans' first and last pick, respectively.  In an urgency to fill

Game of [Otto] Groans

Episode 7 of Game of Groans - The Mountain vs. Red Viper Last week on Game of Groans, King Slayer, Jaime “Pistol” Lannister lead a charge on the uninhabited 3rd place castle. While marching on the Castle, Timerys Braunborn of house Braunscheidel , first of his name, the unsympathetic, King of

Speedster Saved By DaveP

Byline: Viking Arena NHL Rink A scary situation unfolded Monday night on the Nordiques bench. First line left winger Gio “GQ” Orlandi suffered a cardiac related injury during the teams tilt versus the Whales. “It was a surreal incident that transcended the hockey game” stated blueliner Colin Neville. After several strong first

Rise of the Planet of the Benders

The rags to riches story no one wanted Doomsday Cults around the world are stirring after four MNL teams featured 11th or 12th rounders earning points. Trade rumors are buzzing all through the league, with every team but the North Stars excited to get a piece of the Bender Action. When