WARNING! Seal Team 6 Sniper David “VapeD” Podolan will be rampant and on the loose at 2100 hours on Monday, September 10th, 2018, sources from Hazel Park say. “This guy is ridiculous” said Nordiques skater Charles Machi, after a 14-1 preseason loss to the Golden Seals. “He’s that guy, the one they’re calling ‘The Legend’, he’s got like 24 confirmed goals! It’s fucking badass!” “Does Proctors (sic) tailor offer group discounts?” wondered Seal Team 6 Commander, Fire-Up ™ Wordsmith, and Hype Train Conductor Todd “Whoop” Otto. “Seals need three hat trick lounge jackets after tonight, DaveP scored 4!”

An unnamed source with Baby Blue shorts offered this information relating to the sniper’s activities via text message:

In a brief interview during a chance encounter, Podolan revealed a new energy for the game and upcoming season. “I’m hittin’ (sic) everybody this year,” the sniper declared. “You too. You better have your head fixed and keep it up, bud.”

As it is with covert operations, the whereabouts and gameplan of the Golden Seals are unknown. Podolan’s last known sighting was on Slack, asking, “Can we talk about before i had this retarded ass Vape nickname for a sec?” It seems like everyone’s gearing up for the new season. From the Michigan Institute for Neurological Disorders wondering why he doesn’t just go to sleep at a normal hour like he said he would this time, this is Junior MNL Reporter Chae Shin-Chang, signing out.