The lowly Scouts entered Monday night with a chip on their shoulder looking for the franchises first win against the Americans. Both clubs have had abysmal starts to the hockey year. The Scouts were winless while red white and blue had managed only one victory. The victor of the matchup would cement themselves into the number six seed at nearly the 1/3 pole of the season. Scouts management were consulted by some of the leagues great minds over the past week. Sources say that Cipps and RAllen seeked out an audience with North Stars legend Troy Otto for some coaching pointers. “It was stressed to the Scouts that major shake-ups in the line up needed to occur” per an anonymous OFP spokesperson. The Scouts must have heeded some of that valuable advice as they elected to send league superstar Paul Proctor overseas for assignment and a rehab stint while subbing in one of the hottest scorers in MNL Sugar Shawn Hardy. “It’s true. We did send Formerly 22 to the Mediterranean Sea island of Ibiza to play with the Majadahonda Flying Eagles. He refused to report to the club and sent us the following picture with no text…”.
It is unlikely that the shunned superstar returns to the Scout lineup as rumors are swirling about a proposed trade. In the absence of Proctor the Scouts looked for a new sniper and found one in Ryan Peso Monette who netted a hat trick on the night. Six minutes in the game a streaking Peso forced American Dman Brian Pearcy into a giveaway at the blueline which turned into a breakaway goal and an early lead. Sugar whipped a backhand far side past Riley for the second goal of the night. Before the first period ended Bin closed his eyes and wristed one past the shell shocked goalie making it 3-0 at the break. Cam Clawz Clauser returned to his old pre-marital form with solid goaltending all night thwarting away good attempts from Captain Jack Serda and keeping Woodsie in a state of vexation. “They were obviously cheating all night” commented Wood after the game “I mean they practically amputated my leg with viscous slashes”. The scoring onslaught would continue during the first shift if the second stanza. A cross ice pass from Cipps onto the tape of Peso would send him in on a two on one. Peso accurately slid a pass over to Bin who sucked defenceman Larivee over while dishing it back to Peso who undressed Riley for a back hand dangle (Livebarn 26:25 for this unbelievable play). Sensing his teams desperation, number 5 overall pick Drake Arby’s Braun decided to take matters into his own grubby little paws. The forward who wears #1 on his back to remind the rest of MNL that HE should have been the first pick of the draft began briskly circling from his own end screaming for the puck. As he made his way up the ice he continuously became more frustrated by players like QZ, Shep, Justin Wright and Brandt Miller. When he did get shots on net they were from poor angles as the Scouts deployed their version of Desssssert Swarm. “So we kind of elongated the ‘ssssss’ in Dessert Swarm to honor Cipps and his extended pontification” said Co GM RAllen. The American would finally crack the scoreboard with a Serda rebound goal. Peso would add his third late in the game as the ice surface was littered with hats followed by a Larivee wicked wrister with :30 to go. The Scouts ended with 40 shots on net on the night. Without stellar play by American goaltender and officer of the year Aaron Riley it could have been much worse. The Scout win leapfrogs the Americans in the standings as both teams still have a lot of work to become relevant in the league.
Shout out to the MNL AV Department on the set up last night. We cant wait until Oct 31st to see Coan’s Lions whip up on the Raiders during the game. Hope your feeling better Coaner.
Dickie Dunn
