Hetes 9:21pm: Those cocky Diques are up 5-1 in the second period.
Ref Bin 9:22pm: No shit? Who are they playing?
Hetes 9:28pm: Tigers… they are totally dominating the Tigers.
Ref Bin 9:32pm: You wanna see domination? Wait until we play the Americans at 10pm!
Fast forward to the premier game of the night that was flexed to the 10pm slot by major broadcasting firm PEN (Panty Entertainment Network)… featuring the Americans and the Maroons. This reporter has been watching hockey games since 1972 and I can say that I have never seen a 4-2 blow out like what I witnessed Monday night. The Maroons flexed their muscle early and often within the first fifteen minutes, dominating puck possession, shots on goal, the face off dot and all facets of the game. Two way forward Woodsie opened the scoring with a beautiful goal off a great set up from Zach Hartkop. “I was stifled last season by my GM and not used properly… DougE just let’s me be me” said Wood who notched his fifth goal of the campaign. Sugar would deposit another goal past goalie sub Aaron Riley mid way through the first. The Maroons peppered the American goal the remainder of the period holding the offensive zone for 90% of the time. “We should have been up 5 or 6 to nothing after the first” commented Alex Kruso who was credited with an assist on the night. Scorekeeper extraordinaire Spicey No Knees tallied the shots on goal for the period at 27-1. “They were all over us” lamented Amerk veteran Nick Myers “Fuckin Tye kept trying to juggle the lines… what a shit show that turned out to be”.
Feeling confident, Maroon GM Brian Pearcy advised his mates in between periods. “We don’t need to change a thing… keep it up boys”. As so many hockey games go when one team is completely dominating the other, the Americans would capitalize on their only scoring chance. MVP Power Ranking nominee James Wruble ripped a shot past Cam Clauser closing the gap to 2-1 early in the second. “I have never seen a more lop sided 2-1 game. We still felt like we were up by six goals” said rear guard David Judge. The Wruble goal gives him a total of nine on the season tied with Proctor for the team lead. On the Labatt Blue/ Altes/ Budwiser Party Deck Wrubs reflected on his new found goal scoring prowess “I haven’t scored this many goals in a season since pee wee’s… not too bad for a plug”. The Maroons would answer the goal almost immediately with a gritty Hal Doherty snipe. “My role is pretty simple on that line. Park my ass in front of the net and have Sugar shoot pucks off of me and into the net” said Doherty.
The red, white, blue and camofluage would somehow keep things interesting with Proctor doing Proctor things. 22 streaked down the left side and let a change up clapper go, beating Clawz along the ice and getting the game to 3-2 after two. “When have you ever seen Proctor take a slap shot?” questioned Clawz “I expected a McShannock bomb and got a DaveP dribbler”. So… after two periods the score was 3-2 but nearly all of the play had been in the Americans zone. “As bad as we looked and how bad we were getting our lawn mowed we were only one shot away from tying things up” said Turtle Tim, who also made the short list of MVP Power Rankings. Bin would put the game out of reach in the third stanza with a high slot snapper off the crossbar and in.
“I felt like we dominated the whole game” said a jubilant Sugar in a post game interview. “I like what we have here”. Sugar also stated that this game is over now and his sights are firmly focused on next weeks match against the ailing North Stars. “It’s redemption night! They beat us last time and split me open for six stitches! Someone is going to pay for that! No one makes Sugar bleed his own blood!” Look out Troy…. (and that was definitely a penalty in the Stars v whalers game).
Dickie Dunn
