Byline: Viking Ice Arena
Pre season darlings who turned into league thugs, the Maroons righted the ship Monday night against the offensive minded Tigers with a decisive 6-2 victory. They were led by first overall pick Shawn SUGAR Hardy, who put up an impressive five point performance, the Maroons instilled an offensive onslaught against goaltender Andrew Keila and the Tiger D. After jumping out to a quick 1-0 lead by E. Pooh Bear Lepoudre who whistled a laser from the point, the Tigers would surrender five unanswered tallies to the hungry Maroon squad.
“We were looking for a spark to get back on track and Bin provided that” said GM Brian “No More Man Bun” Pearcy, referring to the season debut of Bin. Prior to the game the Maroons were winless on the season, mustering only one point thus far and six total goals. “It was great to be back out there” said Bin post game on the Labatt Blue Party Deck. The Maroons quickly got the early goal back as Judge deposited a loose biscuit in the slot. The Maroons turned on the offense from that point getting goals from Bin, super sub and much thinner Kyle Bauer, Sugar and Judge once more making the score 5-1 after two stanzas.
“They just overwhelmed us” said Tiger GM RAllen. “League darling Bin had a fantastic night coupled with “one for each stitch” angsty Sugar were too hot to handle for us” referring to the 6 zippers Sugar received last week by an unknown Star assailant. Keys to the night included Woodsie’s performance with two apples and only one penalty in another gritty performance. Maroon rookies Alex “Sorry I’m Late” Kruso and Zach “Bernstein” Hartkop provided steady energy and offensive prowess when needed. Cam Clauser stood tall all night against a formidable Tiger squad and was aided by under rated defenseman Shep. For the Tigers, this reporter was very impressed with the play of Jason Momoa’s little brother Brandt Smith. “The dude looks like a straight up barbarian with him wielding that wood stick” said Andrew Spicy Tender as he manned the score clock. “I wasn’t sure if he was going to slay a dragon or bury the puck top corns” said Spicy as he slugged downed his sixth London Brewing Company Lemon Ginger Kettle Sour beer.` “Turns out he’s a really neat guy!”.
Tigers management declined to sit for the post game press conference but a reliable source indicated that the club is weighing it’s options for a possible early season trade. GM Jeff Skilly Skillman refused to comment but there are indications that they are looking to jettison veteran Pistol Pete Niphratos for younger talent. “He be old like ballz” commented Dave P via Skype ,who was missing in action again last night. In retort, Pistol said “At least I show up for my team and I have more strength in my little finger than that dude has in his whole body”.
Glad to be back…
Dickie Dunn
