Byline: Viking Arena 9:30 Game

The charmed Otto life of the North Stars once again reared its head last night with a late come from behind victory over the Tigers 4-3 in shootout. Both teams controlled aspects of the game and the flow intertwined throughout the match. The mighty North Stars opened the scoring with a Troy Otto tally from his office in the slot. The Tigers pounced back with a Drago-like goal from sub Rotkowski and took the lead as league leader in points Sugar strolled out from the corner and deposited the biscuit between the legs of Bin, RAllen and goalie Ryan Z to end the period up 2-1. The second period would see quality chances for both squads that were thwarted away by a super spicy Andrew Hetes and sub Z. The lone goal came of the stick of the suddenly sultry Chris Pfister. Midway through the third period Pfister was whistled for a benign slash across a Tigers stick which resulted in a power play. “If the fuckin’ guy doesn’t hold on to his twig like a sissy it’s not a penalty” screamed 22 on the way to the sin bin. Tiger brass made the decision to load the PP up and it paid off with a man advantage goal from Rutkowski after sustained pressure in the offensive zone. “I had big shoes to fill with Drago out of the line up” said Rut. From that point on the North Stars ratcheted up the pressure on the el Tigres. Lee Hughes reflected on the tone of the Stars bench. “We were hot after that shit call. We sent Rattler and Wruble out to cause some trouble. And they did!”. The black and yellow were subsequently booked with two back to back minor penalties allowing the team to overpower their opponent. With a mere 46 seconds to go in the game, a victory was purloined from the Tigers grasp. A puck squirted past several lunging defenders to the second most dangerous North Star in Pfister who banged it home sending the game to bender OT. The pair of goals netted him the KOTN player of the game chain. Neither team had quality chances as both squads seemed to be skating in marshmallows. “That’s as fast as I go bud” said a spent Turnbull post game.

The ‘story book tale of a season’ for MVP candidate Chad Paulinski continued in the shoot out. Tiger GM Jeff Skillman deferred the first shot, instead choosing the prevalent wind from the North which allowed the asian-polish super sniper to set the pace in shoot out. With chants of “MVP! MVP! MVP!” echoing throughout the barn from a sold out crowd, Paulinski picked up the puck at break neck speed and dangled left, right, left… lifting the vulcanized disk off the crossbar and across the line for a highlight reel goal. The spectators leaped off their feet and cheered as if it was Maximus Decimus Meridius returning to Rome after the battle of Thermopylae,  banging on the glass. The admirers littered the ice with roses and teddy bears symbolic of the poetic adoration praised upon world class figure skaters. This time it was for the lovable Tip Jar. Embarrassed by the praise, Chad sheepishly exited the ice surface and into the warm embrace of his team mate Kyle Bauer. No words needed to be exchanged between the two men. A quiet confidence that the game had already been decided was palpable on the bench as a Sugar Shawn Hardy wrister was innocently deflected into the corner, solidifying the win and the legend of Chad. “He’s hard not to root for” said line mate Mark Pelot while enjoying several Labatt Blue Lights on the Party Deck. “He comes from humble beginnings. He was abandoned as an infant in rural Japan, crawled to the Poland border as a toddler and decried to the world that he would dominate a men’s beer hockey league in America one day. His determination is unmatched!”.

Respectfully,

Dickie Dunn

Prologue: Witnesses have reported that Spicy Goalie was spotted wielding his stick in frustration across the scorer’s box sending pieces of composite in all directions. “The guy is a lunatic” said Uncle Pfiester diving for cover. “I’ve seen some dudes loose their shit before in ‘Nam but never like Hetes”. The only comment from the Tiger netminder was “get that fucking microphone out of my face!!!”.