Byline: The Newly Extended Labatt Blue Part Deck

  Christmas came early this year for the aged North Stars as Santa and his little elf Bin delivered the club it’s new sweaters and a victory over the mighty Americans. Inspired by Lord Stanley’s chalice being awarded to the Tampa Bay Lightning the same evening, the Stars emerged with a 3-1 win on the NHL ice. “Along with the jerseys, Otto Family Properties purchased a case of Icy Hot for each player to get our old bones moving” said league patriarch Troy Sniper Otto. The North Stars carried most of the play during the contest but couldn’t muster a goal until the second period. Grinder Tyrone Jeremy Otto swiftly carried the puck behind the net, weaved his way around American defenseman Scott Wilkie and slipped a skillful pass through the crease and a maze of legs to Bin for a one-time snapper beating goalie Mike Pangrazzi. Praised by his team mates for the glorious pass Tye stated “All those years at the Alphie Turcotte stick handling school is paying off”. The period would end with the green and gold up 1-0 and feeling good about securing their first win of the season.

  Period two would be much of the same. The ice seemed to be tilted towards the American goal. Aside from a couple odd shots past netminder Aaron Riley rattling off the goal post, the Stars applied the majority of the pressure.  Power forward Dave Vinande fed a streaking Tim Kimmel up the middle when he whistled a wrist shot blocker side past Pangrazzi for a 2-0 lead. “It felt good to be recognized by my team mates and be presented with the player of the game chain” said Kimmel post game in a beer can riddled parking lot interview. 

  The American’s looked to get on the scoreboard late by pulling their goalie for an extra attacker. The pressure was applied by the stars and stripes with a stout forecheck resulting in a snipe by the Razor’s Edge on a beauty shot. But alas, the story book ending became a nightmare for GM Paul Antioch as he witnessed Bin slide one into the vacated net and end the night. “We had a lot of subs in the line-up and it just didn’t click” said alternate GM Manny Rodriguez. The loss drops the Americans to 0-2-1 on the young season while the Elo-bot reflects a upward deflection for the North Stars. A happy Kyle Bauer said “Man that felt good…I haven’t won since December!”

Dickie Dunn