North Stars management preached being ready to his team all week in preparation for their semi finals match up against the Tigers but they did not seem to listen. The Tigers got out to the quick start that they wanted only 29 seconds into the match. Back from a medical sabbatical, top player Matt Taylor carried the opening face off into the North Stars end. Taylor sent the puck to the middle where Bin re-directed the soft pass onto the goal. With the help of defensive stalwart Marvin Chocolate Thunder Booker the puck found its way past Officer Riley. “I was just trying to get on the score sheet” said Marvin after the game. This play changed the complexion of the game. One would think that this was the optimal way to start the series for the Tigers but alas, it only woke the sleeping giant.

The school yard bully who has terrorized the neighborhood took the opening flurry of punches right in the face. The North Stars were stunned for a brief moment not expecting to receive the first blow. But the green and grey picked themselves up off the mat, dusted off their boxing gloves and came back out punching with deadly intentions. “Were the bully! We do the ass kicking!” said Doc Hollywood in the Labatt Blue Party Deck. The North Stars scored the next seven goals to solidify their rightful place as the favorites in this series.

Goal scoring came from multiple sources for the North Stars. Both Jumbo Joe Ellis and the Great Bambino Maker Gio Orlandi netted two a piece. Secondary scoring also came from Essence of Otto Award nominee Tye Otto. For his efforts, Jumbo Jim was honored with player of the game status. “The guy has a great shot and it is super heavy” said goal scorer Pistol Pete Niphratos about his wingers scoring prowess. When asked for comment Ellis was quick to refer to being traded earlier in the year from the Tigers. “I went up to Allen after I scored my second goal and told him he can kiss my ass”.

The mighty beat down may have taken much more of a toll than just the score for the Tigers. Chris Taylor was severely disappointed in his teams performance and was visibly frustrated. Matt Taylor is listed as doubtful for Game 2 with split ends in his luscious hair according to the Tigers press release this morning. Goaltender Andrew Spicy Hetes is currently in the urgent care treating third degree burns on his neck from the incessant goal light shining upon him. Nick Myers is at the optometrist office to ascertain if he can see the difference between the colors yellow and grey. Charles Machi is currently at the doctor with his brother Sammy to re-insert his poo bag. “It can’t get any worse for us” said GM Jeff Skillman. Not to be out done, GM Troy Otto replied with “Yes it can!”