Confidence is a strange thing in hockey. A couple bounces go your way and all of the sudden everything you do on the ice is the right play. There are plenty of examples over the years in MNL. Peso circa 2018 playing with Proctor. Troy scores a goal early in 2019 and all of the sudden he has the conviction of Ovechkin. Chad circa 1999 in squirt house play. Shots start going in from the parking lot. You go bar downskie with the flick of the wrist a la Pfister. Shots from behind the net deflect off the goalies ass and in. The most recent incarnation is the lovable David Podolan.

    Vape dedicated the off-season this year to improving his skills. He hired a personal trainer / spiritual advisor and spent countless hours honing his craft to improve his play. “Eye found dis guy hu used to skate wif us named Chet Steadman” said DaveP. “He taught me about life and how two talk to broads and stuff”. Vape committed himself to all things redacted and it is paying off in spades. He netted his fourth goal of the campaign last night on a beautiful breakaway. Dave rocketed out of the neutral zone and sped down on the spiciest of all MNL goalies. Vape shimmied and shaked his shoulders to distract the keeper then fired a bullet top corns over the glove of Hetes. The Whalers bench leapt to their collective feet and noticed a prominent bulge in the diminutive one’s hockey pants as he celebrated with his line mates.

    The confidence that Mr Vape has attained also has translated into his personal life. Speaking about his new found prowess Dave said “Mrs. Vape has never been moor satisfied!” Dave has hired a fashion consultant and is currently in negotiations with Puma to develop a three legged jogging suit to fit his growing erection. “Eye dont fit in regular pants no more cause my boner is soooo fuckin’ uuuggge” commented Vape as he left the Labatt Blue Party Deck last night. A special celebration is being planned by Bin because he is not supposed to tell players on the ice “nice shot”.

Dickie Dunn