Week three of the 2019/20 MNL season was uniform-less but the league is starting to have a theme… PARODY. “Our vision of this wonderful league is coming to fruition” said Ivory Tower elitist Jeremy Drager. “Any team can win any week against any other club!” Panty made this comment while behind a curtain much like the Wizard of Oz. His creative puppetry has crafted a coalition of teams who are within a hairbreadth of each other. The difference between the top seed and the last is minuscule. Every team has their Proctors and Suits but it will be the play of their peripheral players to determine their fate. “It makes it fun to drive all the way from Saskatchewan every week to come to the rink” said Nordiques veteran DougE Fresh.
The Tigers and North Stars faced each other in the marquee match up of the night. Looking for their first victory, GM Troy Otto prepped his team with a passionate pregame soliloquy. “This is the fuckin’ North Stars! We are fricken’ legends in this league! If you fuckers don’t win this game you are all on the chopping block!”. His club responded to the warning and played a solid game. Both teams had chances early as the play was fluid with end to end action. The Tigers opened the scoring with a shorty from Skillman followed by a shorty of their own from North Star first rounder He Suits He Scores. A mid 3rd period power play goal while DCunn was in the box by (someone… its not on the scoresheet) proved to be the game winner. Alas, the Tigers have put the league on notice and remain the only unbeaten squad.
Game two featured the high flying Seals against the Ducks. The scoring was opened by a hot Turtle Tim in the first stanza. “We did this pregame quacking and I think it helped motivate the boys” said GM Juan-Miguel-Carlos-Bustamante. The Seals answered in the second with a gino from league darling Twisted Pfister from Pelot. The Ducks were bailed out a few times by super spicy goalie Andrew Hetes who made several spectacular breakaway stops. The game winner came off the stick of Kyle Bauer who deposited a rebound past Dylan Brock Lesner. Garnering the Player of the Game Duck Call Bauer spoke of his slump busting goal. “Scoring that goal was almost as good as this ice cold Labatt Blue”. Late in the contest the Seals lifted their netminder for an extra attacker. Multiple low zone offensive faceoffs occurred until the puck was sent back to McShannock for his patented clapper. His powerful blast from the point was blocked by Bin who gathered up the biscuit and slipped it into the gaping goal to cement the victory. Side Note of the Night: Turtle Tim took his first penalty ever in MNL by slashing the General’s stick out of his hands. Quote of the Night: “Hey Whoop? Why do you always look like you just got out of bed?”
On the NHL sheet, the Nordiques hosted the Mighty Whalers. Due to the game being blacked out on the Ocho, not much is known. Cowboy Coan posted his first goose egg of the year and the game winner came off the stick of Justin Wright who was positioned perfectly to slide one past Cam Clawz Clauser. Upon his return to the league Andy Femm made his presence known and got his first tally. “That’s why he was a first rounder over Pistol” said grizzled vet Timmy Kimmel.
The power rankings will continue to shift all year but this is how Dickie see’s it… 1. Tigers (Until they are beaten they remain on top) 2. Nordiques (Just beat the Whalers and have the best goalie so far) 3. Americans (Moved up while being on the bye) 4. Whalers (Two strong lines will be their calling card) 5. Seals (Showed that they are not invincible) 6. Ducks (Got the win but still need to be better) 7. North Stars (In every game but need to find their bearings)
Is it Monday Yet???
Dickie Dunn
