Byline: Sunny Acres Retirement Home

The end of an era is rapidly approaching. During a hastily scheduled press conference, top 15 in points scorer, @hal announce the retirement of his Mega 10/90 skates. “These wheels have dutifully served me since 1991. We’ve seen good times, we scored seven goals together this year alone”. The retirement was made possible after Doherty purchased a new pair of Bauer Vapor 1X skates earlier this month.

The classic Mega 10/90 model skate was championed by former Detroit Red Wing Gord Kruppke. Kruppke played a staggering twelve games in the show and netted an endorsement deal. The company promptly went out of business after they put all their stock in Kruppke. The not so power forward was reached for comment in Slave Lake Alberta… “who the fuck would still be wearing those skates? Now get off my phone, I have Walmart shoppers to greet!”.

Each team in the MNL will have a chance to send off Hal’s blades of steel. In preparation of the game between the Mighty Ducks and Americans, team president @manny is planning an on ice ceremony. “We have commissioned a woodworker to widdle a rocking chair for the occasion”. Celebrations are expected by all the teams. “I’m hoping to skate off in the sunset with these baby’s carrying the Stanley Keg” said a teary eyed Hal.

Dickie Dunn