With harsh weather settling into Southeastern Michigan, many workers across Metro Detroit settled in for a cold night. However, many players in the Monday Night Lights Hockey League had to report to GMs their attendance for the game Monday night. Many players were nervous about the drive in. Americans D Scott Wilkie was quoted saying “Roads are shitty where I’m at….Love hockey but not putting my life in danger.”
To offset this, many players found alternative way to participate in the game. Several players opted to “Skate From Home”. To do this, players were required to fill out character sheets representing themselves and roll for stats. “I’m a chaotic-neutral bender with the abilty to cast spells!” said Nordiques F Charles Machi. Players rolled dice to roleplay their success and failure through the game.
Sam: ShaunE skates into the Zone.
Charles: I poke check the puck.
Sam: Roll for dexterity.
Charles: [Rolls] …..7
Sam: ShaunE jukes you out of your skates and you faceplant.
Separately, some players leveraged telepresence surrogates, strapping GoPros and earpieces onto players to play the game remotely, as if they were really there! The results were mixed, as many of the players were battling their instructions vs their instincts,waddling down the ice like those Boston Dynamics walking robots.
“Alright, now Pantycoptor!”
“Why don’t I just play the puck?”
“Don’t ask questions! Pistol’s coming NOW DO IT!”
Finally, a couple players tried to just call into the games, but their output suffered. “Leader has had some attendance issues. We like to see him in his office. His presence wasn’t felt out there. It is a big part of our team’s corporate values to show up and be present every day in the arena. We like to leverage all of our players’ skills, as subs aren’t scalable for our business model.” said Whalers GM Jack Serda. Rumor has it, players with low attendance were sent to HR to “discuss the state of their tenure” on the Whalers. It sounds like players will be asked to accept a buyout package for an early retirement to help the team with salary cap issues.
Reporting from my home office in my jammies, this is MNLHL Senior Report Jarómy Drágr reporting.
