From the MNL Archives: 2016 Week 5

From the MNL Archives is a MNLHN series taking articles from the annals of MNL Season One and resurrecting then out of your inbox. This Article is from Week 5 of 2016. ]

 

Whalers Win One, The Walters Way

The Whalers come up big by sticking it to the Nordiques 2-1. By moving Young Trent up to the front lines, the Diques didn’t have an answer for the one-two punch of the First Round Pick and his GM up in front of the net, as they combined for a score late in the first. Peso Martinez abused a defensive mistake late in the third and ripped it past Coan for the game-winner. Celly Deserved.

The North Stars didn’t have any solutions for the Seals, as they got blanked 3-0 in the lowest scoring Seals game ever. Pikora got the game-winner early off of a JFlo Slap-and-Tip and everything else afterwards was just gravy.  The Seals are looking to cap off the first Shutout Circuit of the by league by stopping the Nordiques next week.

 
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It’s Proctor’s World, We’re All Just Livin’ In It

Goody Proctor and his Partner-In-Crime ShaunE couldn’t leave well enough alone, as Pikora’s early game-winner wasn’t enough for these two to added two points each to their stat line for good measure, as everyone in the Top Ten but DaveP stayed in neutral last night.  These two are destined for Hardware at the rest of the season.  Although they haven’t cracked the Top Ten, several Whalers are on the cusp of breaking in, including Young Trent, Peso Martinez, and Whalers GM Walters.  Look to these guys to put points on the board next week.

 
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Stonewall Swanberg Strikes Twice!
Kevin with an A cannot be stopped, as the last person to score on him was Shuga Shawn back in September.  Swanberg’s GAA is now officially out of the Stratosphere and in his own zone, the SWANNIESPHERE.  The Double Shutout wasn’t enough to abolish Sins of Shootouts’s Past, as Coan and Troy as still holding their feud at the top of the list after last night’s Goaltender’s Duel.  These two are in a battle to the end for the Vezina as they are just separated by 0.03 Goals Against, on average.  Swantek had a bye as he’s working on getting healthy.
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Injury Update: Malpractice?!?
What do you call it when your doctor is the one who sends you to the hospital?  Well, that’s what happened last night when the Good Doctor Goody Proctor made a beautiful non-move that snaps both ankles off Paulinski’s legs.  As the young 5th Round Draft Pick lay motionless on the ground, Dr. Proctor surgically sniped a goal on North Stars Otto.  Eventually, the center raised to his feet and went to the faceoff dot as fans clamored that he give up on the shift and go lick his wounds on the bench.  Paulinski is day-to-day with 2 broken ankles and a bruised ego.  Proctor is being investigated for cruel and unusual punishment by the UN Human Rights Council