Byline: Labatt Blue Party Deck

Although not depicted accurately on the scoreboard, the game between the Golden Seals and Americans was a run and gun affair. Respective goalies @CLAWZ and @Tom Leader were pelted by rubber and kicked away the majority of biscuits. The Seals set the tone on the first shift of the night. The stud line of @shaun_alika @davep and @hefe6210 hemmed the red white and blue deep in their zone. The poopie pants Seals had multiple glorious opportunities to jump to an early lead but were denied by red posts of iron and timely saves. “We shood of scored lots of goalz in da furst period and beet those guys” said VapeD in a post game news conference. Official records show that the shots on net were 54 to 51 in favor of the gold. “I thought I was watching the Rams v Chiefs game” said @ottotroy29 who was subbing for @nekogt6 . “By the way… i was two for two wins on the night!” (#FTNS)

The Amerks opened the scoring with another goal by @antio1pd off a pass from Bin. Co-GM Antioch leads the team in goals scored with nine. @jmcshannock stayed hot netting his eighth of the campaign and not to be outdone @tkshreve had a beauty through the wickets to score the game winner. “I have been experimenting with new sticks for a while. Im using the lady’s flex now and I love it” commented Kimmel. The game stayed close with a beautiful goal from ShaunE.

The Seals continued to press and lifted their goalie for an extra attacker. It was not in the cards for the club who bombarded the Amerks in the dying seconds. @pbin12 said “A win is a win. We’ll take it”. Wins were hard to come by last year for the sophomore left winger. The 2017/18 Nordiques mustered only 5 wins on the season. The curse of the Diques seems to have lifted as they find themselves on the too of the standings. ”yeah yeah yeah. We all heard that fuckin Ke$ha song playing in the locker room again” said @smachi “@pantydropper and @qziraldo can suck my cats balls!”

The win propels the Americans into third place in a tightly packed second tier of organizations. The Mighty Ducks led by cookie connoisseur @Busta and the Whalers look to gain ground next week with big wins.

Dickie Dunn