Byline: Outside the Ivory Tower

The Whalers and Americans played a hard fought and ugly game last night that needed to be determined by Bender OT. Following league rules employed by senior MNL officials, both clubs designated their respective grinders for the extra period. Each team had glorious chances to win and multiple scoring chances in overtime until GM @youngtr7 sent his secret weapon onto the ice to end it. @Bauer was subbed in for an absent @jellis and sniped twice on the night including the overtime winner. He picked up a lose puck in the corner and deposited the vulcanized rubber far side beating @Tom Leader. Clearly Kyle Bauer is not qualified to play in Bender OT. Amerks management immediately brought this to the attention of the Ivory Tower. “This was a clear violation of Rule #4.b of the official rule book” @manny protested. “The points should be vacated and an asterisk should be placed in the record book for perpetuity!”

The scandal has left the powers to be in a difficult situation. A secretive vote is scheduled this morning to determine the outcome of the match. “Today is supposed to be about political voting but clearly the most important vote today is in the MNL “ said Players Association President @hal . Many lobbyists made their cases to the Ivory Tower post game in the Labatt Blue Party Deck. Amerks representative @nekogt6 demanded justice. ”Serda knew exactly what he was doing. He puts out the guy Laflamme from the movie Goon to play against @smachi! That ‘aint right!”.

Some options that the tarnished Ivory Tower can employ are 1) Stripping the points from the Whale. 2) Replaying Bender OT. 3) Flipping a coin. 4) Set up a winner take all arm wrestling match between @chad_paulinski and @wilkie. 5) Award each team a half point or 6) Institute a Bauer Rule. Whatever the decision is it will be flanked by criticism. Scandal seams to be an ongoing theme throughout the history of the league. “The 2017 season featured the ugly Danny Hull Incident and now this atrocity” commented @bbalasia . “@pantydropper needs to clean this shit up. It’s not all about his precious Diques!”.

Awaiting the Ruling,

Dickie Dunn