The Seals won an impressive game to start the season off at the top of the standings. Analysts are attempting to determine how much of a factor their snazzy new jerseys had on their dominant play. When questioned, Seals GM and fan favorite Whoop Otto admitted he got the jersey idea while placing sports bets.

“WOO HOO! I WAS TELLIN COANER NOT TO BE A PUSSY AND PUT $100 ON EASTERN MICHIGAN, WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT HOW GOOD A BALLPARK FRANK WOULD HIT THE SPOT! WOULDN’T YA KNOW, I COULDNT DECIDE BETWEEN CLASSIC MUSTARD AND SPICY BROWN! THE VENDOR SHRUGGED AND ASKED IF I WANTED TO JUST PUT ON BOTH, AND WELL WHO AM I TO SAY NO?! AND THAT’S WHEN IT HIT ME!”

Fuck, one Poopy Pants was bad enough, but now there are 10 of them?

This is Carlos Antonio Machismo thanking Dangle Sauce for a Game One Jersey Unveiling.