Byline: HoS :shamrock:

The much anticipated 2018 entry draft is in the books and teams are set for the upcoming season. Let’s take a look at which teams are poised to challenge for the Keg and which teams need to squeeze every ounce of talent out of their players.

Nordiques: A- The Nordiques management pulled of a pre-draft deal to secure the undisputed top two players in the league. Anchored by @hardyparty92 and @pauly the Diques clearly are the team to beat. The question is whether there will be enough pucks to go around. Rumor has it that Peso had 22 and Sugar out in the parking lot practicing toe drags after the third round last night. Drafting prolific scorer and professional body builder @Peso the baby blue own an unstoppable star line. Vezina candidate @jcoan supplies above average goalkeeping which will be aided by a stout defense consisting of @pantydropper @brauny and the silent assassin @ericlepoudre . This may be the year that the curse is broken.

Northstars: C- This was a lackluster, uninspired, unimaginative and prosaic draft for the flying Otto Brothers. The Stars will be mired near the basement and will require yoemans work from players such as @gorlandi and @BULL to make any hay. Team bright spot @jstarr will need an MVP season to just make the playoffs. @Z will need to stand on his head all season because of the Stars lack of scoring power. Expect Co-GM @ottotroy29 to make numerous mid-season trades to improve his squad.

Mighty Ducks: B+ Duck management reluctantly did the right thing with the 3rd overall pick selecting @pniphoratos . Like a fine Greek wine he is improving with age. Look for the Greek Freak to put up monster numbers this season. He is touted as a pre-season all American. He demands respect and will carry this team. The top line is formidable with @Tim D’Onofrio and @ctaylor14 . The defense will be hard to penetrate with Chocolate Thunder @mbooker and @Maff . If you do get past them you have to contend with Dickie Award winner for best Tendie @jjfloreno . The Ducks are poised and built to make a deep run in the playoffs.

Americans: D+ Buy stock in Geritol and Motrin this morning. The Americans have already hired a geriatric therapist to deal with the aging roster. But… With their age comes wisdom and experience. Look for chemistry between Bin and @tkshreve and @wilkie. The beneficiary of their creativeness will be Co-GM @antio1pd . Look for Antioch to be amongst the league leaders in goals. They look to repeat as Stanley Keg champions by aquiring lucky charm @smachi . Mid round steal @bbalasia and @jmcshannock anchor a solid D core. Rookie goalie @Tom Leader may prove to be the breakout player of the year. Holes do exist in this roster and of all teams “health” will be a key factor.

Seals: B- Art, Art. On paper the Seals have their flippers facing forward for maximum propulsion. Speed will be the Seals greatest attribute. @dcunningham8 and @shaun_alika will likely be paired with the gritty @hefe6210 . The second line features @davep , @allanz and new fan favorite @jellis . The biggest problem for the Seals will be goal scoring. From goal line to goal line look for some magic from Vape, @shep12 and @Pearcy but who can push it across the line. Big question mark…

Whalers: A Co-GM’s @youngtr7 and @gserdoz took their time (serious it took forever) and pondered the selections for their squad. Already dubbed as the second “super team” in the league, the duo compiled a strong group of talented players. Under rated budding superstar @chad_paulinski and streaky scorer @jellis will have the Whale winning games by 8-7 scores. This team is big and nasty (minus Chad). They are built to win the war. Gritty players such as @gibbintroy , @LeRoy and @brandtwill will make opponents pay the price. Don’t sleep on the Whalers… Dickie’s sleeper pick to win it all.

Reporting from the Fire Marshals Desk

Dickie Dunn