Byline: Hartford, CT
In a shocking and blatent attempt to build a SuperTeam to dominate the MNL Hockey League, the Whalers have announced that Captain Jack Serda @jserda will join the team as a Co-GM for the upcoming season. The move instantly propels the Whale to Stanley Keg favorites. According to Johnny Avelo of the Sports Book in Las Vegas the Whalers have become 5:2 odds to lift the vessel containing beer in April of 2019. “This is total collusion and unsportsmanlike. I thought Trent’s mom brought him up better than that” said @Todd Otto .
The behind closed doors signing of Serda was consumated late last night after being wined and dined by team brass. “We have invested in Jack and allowed him total control of player acquisitions and contracts” said @youngtr7 while sporting a sly grin. Serda is considered one of the top players in the league and gives the Whale two legitimate first rounders to build their team around. @manny was notified of the situation this morning and was not amused. “I mean I have Antioch but this move is like putting @hardyparty92 and @pauly on the same team. I will be calling League Commissioner @ottotroy29 with my grievance!”.
Serda is revered by players throughout the league. He is considered the MNL version of Niklas Lindstrom. “He is the perfect human” said @dslackerone . “Have you seen this dude without his shirt on? I mean DAMN! He is a very handsome man and one hell of a player”. This move has other GM’s looking to improve their clubs before the draft even begins. @jcoan is looking to jettison @pantydropper in order to court @pniphoratos . “If I could only dump Panty for Pistol” said Coaner. It has been rumored that @Busta was willing to cut @Tim D’Onofrio from the Ducks to sign @chad_paulinski to a long term deal and stock options to the team.
The Draft is a mere six days away. As teams look to fill their rosters, the Mighty Whale may have already engraved their names on the Keg. “Eye all ready knows I gonna be a suck-dique a gan so it don’t matter two me” said @davep. Tickets are still available at the door of House of Shamrocks for the draft Monday.
