Congratulations to CLAWZ PAWZ and the Shakes for both playing great games and making their way to the Consolation Bracket. The PAWZ hung with Jeremy Coan the Wheeling Taylors for most of their game, but they lacked the offense to pull out a win. Their active goal scoring leader, Troy Otto, was out for the night getting his groin pulled with an undisclosed date night injury. This allowed Shuga to play on an injured Bin’s behalf, and boy was the salt flowing.

Actual Photo of Taylor’s Locker Room Two Hours Before Puck Drop

Shuga usually attracts a certain amount of hacking, but this was ridiculous. Even Nice Guy Jeremy Drager tried to run Shuga, but instead injured himself on the boards. Two goals by Pistol and a “softy” by Hock later, the Taylors found themselves in the playoffs.

Get out of his way! Drager won’t let anyone, not even himself, stop this Keg Run.

In Game Two, Q-Tip made sure Coan knew what he would be dealing with if he agreed to sub for the Taylors in the Finals. If Coan is to be believed, immediately before the first goal, Q-Tip sat in the crease, spit in Coan’s face, slashed him, said horrible things about his wife, and moved the goal so Trent could have an open shot. The stupid ref didn’t see any of this, and momentum shifted enough for the Cubes to win 4-1.

From Troy Otto’s Date Night, this is Carlos Antonio Machismo doing the walk of shame.