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Wheeling Taylors GM @dslackerone Cipps and Clawz Pawz consummated a landmark trade last night after a long negotiation process. The deal sends venerable MNL veteran @Peso to the Mighty Nailers in exchange for steady defenseman @dougefresh . The trade came as a surprise to the league although many rumors have been swirling around shaking up the Pawz roster. The transaction seems to favor the Nailers who acquire a second rounder in Peso in exchange for a sixth round pick. “Sometimes you need to make bold moves to improve your team” said team leader @Tim D’Onofrio Turtle.
There was apprehension for both GM’s before the deal was completed. Talks between the two teams heated up after the second period of the 10pm game. “Cam’s vision of the Diques 2.0 is an exercise in futility. I can’t be part of this losing culture” commented voice piece @ottotroy29 . Multiple late night text messages were exchanged between Clawz management and Lil Makushita Sports Agency representative @chad_paulinski. Eventually a deal was brokered between Cipps, @pantydropper, Troy Otto and Bin. The actual deal was witnessed by a hoard of MNL players who were debriefing post game in the Labatt Blue Party Deck. “I think we were all shaking in our boots hoping we wouldn’t be traded to Team NordClawz” said @Maff .
Before the trade could become finalized several team mates needed to green light the exchange. GM Cipps had to consult @suokas before jettisoning his d partner/life partner. Overcome by emotion, Soukas lamented “we have developed a very special relationship. I had already asked Doug to be the god father of my children. It’s gonna be an enormous loss for me both physically and spiritually”. On the other side, Pawz public relations supervisor @jellis had the dubious job of reaching out to Peso lover and BFF @davep . The more handsome Ellis needed to bring his brother @jellis_m to reveal the news to VapeD. Jim recounted the encounter. “DaveP opened his door and was clad in a fuschia track suit. He was already crying. It was pretty gay”. The only thing Vape could orate was… “Dis feels likes mys hart haz bin ript out”.
Peso officially becomes the most traded commodity in league history. It becomes the third time his rights have been swapped. Reacting to his new destination he said “i feel like a my game needs a fresh start. It’s good to feel wanted”. Peso has been frustrated this season and has remained pointless through three games. The move will surely inspire lineup changes for the Pawz. @smatchmo Neville commented on projected lines. “I see Turltle centering Bin and Joey. Vape D will have myself, Jumpin Jim and @nekogt6 Myers. The move also shores up our back end with @dougefresh “. The new look Fighting Clawz will be put to the test next week against the Cubes. “I’m not worried one bit about them” said lead Cube Sugar @hardyparty92 .
Another press release was distributed amongst the league after the trade was announced. “The Clawz have officially renounced the Nordiques Jersey and all articles of clothing baby blue in color”. The club has decided that the baby blue is cursed and will not be worn again. Rumors indicate that diminutive forward Bin is responsible for the ban. “We need to distance ourselves from the stigma surrounding the Diques. If I see one of our guys wearing that color I will get that guy traded too!” GM Cam could not be reached for comment.
Dickie Dunn
