Troy Otto had a hell of a night. Playing defense for both games, Troy managed to rack up two penalties and a -2 rating on the night. How did the 3rd round defensive stud drop so low after a solid +3 week one? It all began when the Nordiques CLAWZ PAWZ were down 2-1. Troy was frustrated that he was on the ice for a goal against (that’s a minus). He looked for the most mild-mannered player on the ice. When he saw dopey ol’ Cipps with the puck in the corner, the Tye on Troy’s shoulder told him to give the guy a little run. Troy lowered his shoulder and left his feet before knocking the head off of poor Cipparone’s neck. Trent gave Troy two minutes for checking. As Troy skated to the box, he mumbled “2 minutes well worth it!” and subsequently blew a tire and ended up on his ass.

About 15 seconds into the penalty, Troy began complaining that clock operator Busta was fucking up and he should be out of the box by now. Furious that the two minute penalty was looking like it was going to take about two minutes, Troy opened the door to the box with 5 seconds left, fumbled with his stick and gloves, and entered the playing area with 1:58 of his penalty served. The league will look into suspending Otto for the first 2 seconds of his next game to serve his time.

“I can bench 225 3x! You think I can’t escape a puny little penalty box?!”

The game ended 2-1, despite Troy’s cries that a puck A A Ron saved clean was a goal. Troy, looking to redeem himself in game 2, had some good plays, including a shot that ended in a deflection goal, but his plus-minus was still in the toilet. Troy had enough after yet another 4 on 1 attack by the ShugaCubes, and after taking a verbal beating by brick wall Coan, decided to take matters into his own hands.

When you tell your BIL he’s not gonna score shit, but then he still gets a hatty

On another 2 on 0 chance, Troy had enough and tripped Shuga to get another penalty, but in a clean way. The cleanest way to intentionally trip someone on a breakaway, at least. Troy was placed in the box to think about what he did, and watched his team fail to comeback in a 5-3 loss. Maybe if the rest of his teams had the tenacity Troy did, then he wouldn’t be 0-3 on the season.

This is Carlos Antonio Machismo signing out.