The Americans will walk to the Keg unopposed this year after GM and defensive powerhouse Todd “Whoop” Otto was caught doping during the playoffs. The MNL Ethics Committee was compelled to take blood tests after Whoop was found with unidentified blue medication.

“You ready for the Seal to RIIIIISE baby?”

Todd admitted to doping during the North Star series, but claimed it did not affect the outcome of the games.

“HOO HOOO! Sure, Blue Pants took the Blue Pill a couple times, but who hasn’t done anything it takes to get the blood flowing, ya know? The fans came to see a show! Had to cut a hole in my pants so my jock would fit! I guess the Stars aren’t the only cocky ones.” -Whoop

Whoop will undergo mandatory private sessions at Legends to work out any swelling he’s sustained.

I think we’re gonna be here a while.

From the bitter desk of a loser, this is Junior Señor Reporter Carlos Antonio Machismo signing out.