North Stars Decide To Give Back To the Less Fortunate
Seals 1, North Stars 0
Last night was an epic night for MNL and will go down in history as the day the North Stars choked on seal blubber [nuggets]. The North Stars met their match against the RIISSSEEEE of the planet of the seals who were drafted to specifically beat the North Stars. Officer AAron stepped up to the plate and shut out the General and Co. This series much like the other series for the Ducks came down to not being able to put the puck in the net. The high scoring North Stars scored 1 goal in the series and just couldn’t get the job done. The seals however, stuck to their guns on the back of league GM, Brian Bustamante’s comments all series about how the seals would never win, gave the pesky seals some motivation to beat those damn cocky North Stars once and for all.
The North Stars were flying high all season long until their big heads got a taste of reality and the injury bug plagued them. The biggest loss to the North stars was their all around grinder, Vertregt. He handled the grindline giving the North Stars the spark when they needed it most. Walsh was another loss for them, Walshy had a tendency to hook up with Dream weaver and Tye Otto on the Grind line to bang home those dirty goals.
The game started off with no action to be had in the 1st period. The seals then turned up the heat and got on the board. The North Stars tried their best to claw back in it but Riley shut them down. When greeted after the game with comments like “Nice Shutty AAron”, he replied with (laughing while he answered) “Shut outs are easy when you face only 8 shots”. Looks like the North Stars just couldnt get any shots through the Seals D core. Chatter box Taylor stepped it up and played a hell of a game, he will look to take out his former teammate Proctor in the finals next week. I asked McCrackin if he had any break aways or opportunites to score and he responded with “no, Todd was too quick thicc to get by him”. It was a good run for the North Stars but I can speak for everyone when I say, thank god they didnt win the Keg. No one wanted to hear Tye and Troy talk about their AMAZINGGGG season with the BESTTT team ever assembled. Instead they acted like North stars do and burn out before the finals.
With all their eggs in one basket and the cockiness to think that the Stanley keg was theirs once they heard they were playing the Seals, the North Stars decided to order 2018 Stanley Keg Championship shirts for the team to wear during the passing of the Keg. With the North Stars’s loss, the already ordered shirts were re-routed to Africa to be given to the less fortunate. It was really nice to see these cocky goons give back to the people who need it most. Who knew they were so kind hearted.
Turns out that the village they sent the shirts too was the same village that received the 2017 Atlanta Falcons Super Bowl champions hats along with the 2018 New England Patriots Superbowl champs Shirts. With the village fully stocked with new gear they decided they still needed extra supplies around the village. They happened to have a shortage on toilet paper with all the rain forests being cut down, there is not enough toilet paper in the world left for the under privileges villages of Africa. It was decided by the Mayor of the Village, Starsalwayschoke, that they would accept the North Stars shirts and use them to wipe their asses. Sounds pretty fitting to me,
From the outhouse’s in an African village wiping my ass with a North Stars shirt, Freshman señor of the Jr department of reporters, Joaquin Alejandro Diego Nicolás Gabriel Maximilliano Boostámenté
(insert ShaunE gif “F the North Stars”)
