For the first time since the team’s inception in 2016, the Nordiques will miss the Stanley Keg Playoffs. The Nordiques were already on the ropes, with a win by the Seals or a loss by them marking the end of their season. The Nordiques came to play the Ducks, the hottest team in the league, even subbing up for Chad Paulinski after Dave P’s scratch. Chad was forced to go for a swim in Dave Cipparone’s retired jersey, and his speed was noticeably reduced, but no one knows whether it was because this was his second game of the night or the wind resistance from the jersey was too great.

Don’t let this cute little guy fool ya, he’s dangerous!

Chad drew first blood, proving he was a better player option than DP by actually putting the puck in the net. Shuga was not impressed with Bin on defense, and he decided to make it interesting by splitting Panty and Bin at their blue line to score on poor Cammy Cam.

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE

“SHAWNY MAYS HERE! WHEN YOU ORDER A BREAKAWAY GOAL LEAVING BIN AND PANTY IN THE DUST, I’LL DOUBLE THE OFFER!”

Coan managed to score the equalizer on a broken play in front of the net, giving the Diques a ray of hope. But Pistol was envious of Shuga’s success, and decided to put one in past Bin and Panty himself. A few dangerous chances on both sides of the ice, and the game ended with a 3-2 victory, Ducks over Diques.

Alright, fun’s over. No one is allowed to make fun of the Diques anymore.

This is Carlos Antonio Machismo sitting pretty on a winning team.