Spirits and Real Estate Prices are down after a statewide hockey shortage has brought the riffraff to the forefront. It has been nearly 3 weeks since the last MNL hockey game and players are looking anywhere to get their fix. Local methadone clinics ice arenas are overrun with disheveled benders just trying to get a game in. Local arenas have seen an uptick in sticks-and-pucks attendance by toothless patrons, and have even seen some players trying to buy ice from under other organizations.

Anyone know a good drop-in? I have money! I know a goalie!

MNL co-founder and “attorney” Troy Otto was spotted performing illicit acts in order to secure time at the new LCA venue. Police apprehended him, but were perplexed when Otto screamed for a lawyer but then called himself.

Troy Otto, Esq. Attorney at Law (Pending)

Reportedly, Troy has incriminated himself and is being held on $500,000 bond. A bake sale was suggested, but we still haven’t gotten the money raised for DaveP’s teeth, so…

This is Junior Señor Reporter Carlos Antonio Machismo, getting his fix.