Byline: NHL Ice

In what can only be described as the worst exhibition of officiating I have seen in my 52 years of reporting on hockey… Tye Otto was deplorable.

At no point in the game was rookie referee @HUNTER in position or aware of the contest unfolding in front of him. “I think the level of play in this spectacular league is well beyond his abilities” said referee partner Jim. @davep commented “Da dude cant not even skate… hes be ruining our game!”. Mr. Otto was often times seen slumped across the dasher boards in an attempt to hold himself upright. “His skating ability is sub-par at best and horrific to watch. I thought about bringing him a chair out there to push around” commented American’s super star 11th rounder @rallen.

During play in the second period Tye was seen chopping steak with his Bauer Model 150 skates circa 1972 and hit a slippery patch of ice in the corner. The result was a catastrophic event that felled him to the ice. Tye slid approximately 7 metres and crashed into the end boards. “It looked like a sniper took him out” recounted @jellis. “The guy should be working 5-6 year old’s games, not the SHOW” lamented @jstarr.

When asked for comments on his performance post game in the Labatt Blue Party Deck Lobby, Tye had this to say… ” I don’t know what game these douchebags were watching. I was in perfect position all night and I only missed about a half dozen offsides, which is pretty solid compared to Greg and Jim”. One can only hope that league commissioner @ottotroy29 has a plan in place to evaluate referees. @brauny said that he participated in the league’s rigorous off season referee camp along with @chad_paulinski, @Peso, and @pbin12 . “At no point in our extensive training this summer did we ever learn how to ref like that. Its a disgrace to the league and my fellow elite officials”. What is to become of our beloved @HUNTER…. only the future knows….

Pulitzer Prize Award Winner, Dickie Dunn